Being sick makes it impossible to write a blog filled with meaning and purpose. When my eyes stop feeling like they’re gonna pop out of my eye sockets I have a serious blog in mind. Amid the clusters of dirty tissues and tucked beside a cold cup of coffee sits a bundle of fresh idea and self introspection. The keys to being a better person are there yet I can’t reach them due to the cold medicines that keep me from coughing up my spine. So what’s a peanut to do? Any ideas? I have one, seriously, I do. The one phrase that has haunted me throughout my teens won’t go away. I tried to silence it with a pillow but it was still there and became even more pronounced when I became born again.
The phrase was that Christian music is bad. I should stay away from it. As I write this I can honestly say that it bothers me less and less everyday. I know that for me Christian music has kept me from listening to non-Christian music. I find Christian music to be more interesting anyway. It doesn’t even matter if it offends people inside the church because in the end they aren’t important. God is and people honor God in all sorts of ways. In the Bible people praised him with songs, poems, and even plays. In the end it’s not really the rhythm of the song that’s bad. It’s the lyrics isn’t it? That’s what everyone told me initially. Of course that was before I discovered Stryper and my church going friends totally freaked out. Let’s ignore those people and just for those Christian folk who are looking for some good music follow me and check these cd’s out.
1. Orphaned Land – The Never Ending Way Of OrwarriOR – I just discovered this cd and it’s insanely good. The band is combines progressive metal, Death/doom metal, Jewish and Arabic influences. This is one of those cd’s you just can’t stop playing. Grab some coffee sit back and be amazed.
2. Sinbreed – When Worlds Collide I love this cd and for those who love power metal will find tons of stuff to love on this one.
3. Google the name Rob Rock and embrace the awesomness! I recommend Holy Hell which is an amazing Cd.
4. David Crowder Band – Church Music. Switching gears a little but I have to include this even though it’ isn’t metal. Awesome Praise Cd that is truly amazing.
5. The Wedding Party – Anthems. Wow! How exactly can I describe this? Gothic rock? Sure, but a cd that is pure brilliance.
This blog has taken about three days to complete and I am beat.
I was thinking about how I could get some readers here but the problem that I had was that my blog can a be a bit dull. You read other blogs and they’re full of anger, drama, sadness, and what not and then you have me. No drama, no anger, and sadly no sadness. That doesn’t bode well for me as a blogger. I have three kids two of which are twins so I don’t have a lot of time to watch the news. Here’s another strike against me and this one may offend people but oh well who cares. When a celebrity dies I don’t care. Seriously, doesn’t phase me in the slightest. I don’t run off to twitter and tweet my peeps about how I sad I am. You’ll see no frowney faces or even a fond memory of my favorite movie or cd. If I knew them then maybe you’d see a frowney face but if a celebrity dies I text my wife and move on. I don’t stop my day or even have a good cry.
As I thought about my blog I realized I liked not having readers. No comments is kind of cool. No one knows I’m here. I tweeted about my blog but I don’t know if anyone’s actually been here. It’s kind of quiet here. I like it. It would be nice to know if anyone is actually reading this. Is it boring? Entertaining? Anything would be nice but what can you do? It’s not a soap opera and there’s no bitterness or anger. Just a guy winging it. What ever pops in my head I talk about.
This weekend we did have a nasty basement flood. Is there anything worse? The problem was that all of our stuff is in the basement which means that as we sift through the damage we are losing family photos which is odd because now in the digital age we have camera phones so when your basement floods you can be rest assured that your pictures are safe. I am mourning the loss of my vinyl records. I would estimate the loss at around five hundred bucks. These are records that I can not replace people. All gone in poo water. On top of that my daughter started a stomach flu virus that hit all of us on Fri and Saturday. On top of the basement cleaning we were all heaving. It wasn’t from the smell people it was just sauteed in wrong sauce. I finally got over mine today and now I am developing a chest cold. Ohio weather is wonderful. That’s it for me. Not a very engaging blog but fun.
What exactly does out of the darkness mean? For me there’s a variety of meaning. The most important being saved from spiritual death and emerging into eternal life. Shedding the old man and becoming someone that I can be proud of. Out of the darkness was a moment where I stopped being selfish about changing my life and truly living for Christ. My wife told me this evening that I was kind of a hypocrite because I say one thing and do another. Sadly, she’s right. I thought that I had given up all of the selfishness yet I still cling to this belief that I can do things on my own when I should be trusting God. I have seen how amazing he is. When I truly rested in him and allowed him to control my life there was less confusion, less stress and a happier me.
When I trusted God I saw financial miracles occur when it seemed as if the entire situation appeared hopeless. Did I cry and whine and blame God? Of course not. God isn’t always going to do things in your life when you want him to. God taught me that you not only have to have patience but an unshakeable belief in Him. Sometimes there were tests just to see if I could totally allow myself to trust Him and my prayers were answered. The craziest thing was that sometimes I would pray and ask God for guidance or an answer and it came through other people! God would bring these people into my life and all of a sudden it would hit me that this was exactly what I had been praying for! People will say that it’s coincidence or whatever but too many things have happened to just shrug it off and ignore it.
I have really been struggling in my faith and actions as a Christian. I ended up talking to an old friend of my wife’s and as I texted her I realized that God had arranged this encounter to show me that I was slacking and allowing myself to slide away from God! Did I use that conversation as a realigning point? No, but as I write this blog what really echoes in my head is my wife telling me that I was being a hypocrite. My goal has been to lead people to Christ. I want people to look at this big goofy bald guy and say he may look rather odd but man, he’s on fire for God! I lost that passion somewhere but I feel it creeping back in. I am in awe of what God has done in my life and I know what he wants me to do with my life yet I keep resisting.
I understand that I will never be a conservative Christian that wears suits and digs coma inducing hymns. I love Christian metal and my favorite pair of jeans have the knees blown out. I totally get that older, more refined Christians may find me a bit rough around the edges but that’s why God chose me! He doesn’t want me to change my appearance or the way I talk to people because I may look out-of-place but God wants to use that to reach people. I didn’t understand until just now. God may not have changed the way I speak or dress but he’s changed my heart. My heart is full of joy and peace now. I realize that as I write this I am wasting the talents he has given me. Through this blog I now realize what he’s been trying to tell me all along. I have a talent. Use it. Reach those that are unreachable.
Through Christ I have come out of the darkness and into the light. That’s what the title represents. If only one person reads this and finds salvation then my job is done, but I want to show people that if you pray you will find the answer you’re looking for. Pick up a Bible and immerse yourself in the truth.When I rededicated my life was praying and had actually asked God about listening to secular music and I started to read my Bible and it opened to Romans 12:2. I got really excited by that verse because it showed me that I wasn’t wasting my time praying and believing in God. It was the first time I had ever received an answer and they just kept coming. The thing is to remember is that you must have faith and be sincere. You just can’t pray and expect an answer. You’re wasting your time and God’s. If you come into cynical nothing is going to happen. Just pray and tell God that you believe in him and want to feel his presence. It’s crazy when he shows himself! It feels as if you’ve struck by lightning! This is getting a bit long but the title is something I thought about changing but I like it because it reminds me of where I’ve been and where I am. God rules!
When people tell you that they had a bad day you always try to one up the other person. No matter how crappy your day was they always can top it. Why are people so shallow? At a young age I learned that when people try to help you, it usually does more harm than good. Everyone truly believes that by talking about your problems you’ll somehow feel better or find a solution that makes the pressure of all the crap you’ve been dealing with a little more manageable. I like being independent and self reliant. The less people know about my personal life the better I feel. Talking about my feelings or even what I’m thinking doesn’t work for me. I don’t feel comfortable. A few years ago my wife and I decided to see a marriage counselor and it didn’t help at all. It just made me angrier because I had to talk about all the stuff that was bugging me and I wasn’t getting any solutions. This jerk was supposed to make things better yet he was only making them worse. He wanted me to talk about all of the stuff that was bothering me and it got to a point where I didn’t even want to go. It wasn’t helping my marriage and I never wanted to be there in the first place.
Another thing that bugs me is that as Christians we’re supposed to love everyone. I’m not a people person. I tolerate people and there are some people I just don’t like. It’s hard to change that side of myself because it’s just who I am. I cannot just wake up one day and want to be a hugger because I don’t like people touching me. It just grosses me out and makes me uncomfortable. When I see people who are huggers my flesh crawls because I’m not a hugger. If I don’t know you please don’t touch me. Another thing that annoys me is when people talk they want to reach out and touch me at the same time. Why do people do that? If you wanted to get my attention you got it but instead of wanting to talk to you I want to get away from you. I’m big on personal space and don’t like it when people invade it.
Back to the original point which is the bad day. It happens but just accept it and move on. There’s no reason to get all weepy and slobbery because more often than not you’re going to have another one. I have learned that as a Christian it’s a lot easier to deal with them now than it was before. I do get a little angry but I don’t hold onto it. Sure yesterday was horrid but when I saw my kids get off the school bus I felt okay because I knew that I needed to put on my dad hat and be a father. I couldn’t be angry anymore because it wasn’t their fault that my day was horrid so I just basked in their love and knew that tomorrow would be totally different. By trusting in God I let all of that go and felt free. I wasn’t dwelling on it and it felt pretty dang good.
I had to take my son to his new school to fill out some paperwork which I assumed was easy. The problem is that the city of Akron has changed a great deal which is awesome if you own a car. I grew up in Akron and still find it hard to believe that it’s considered a hip place. When I was a kid it was happening if you were a hobo and like to sleep on park benches or accosted by drunk people. The idea was to build a minor league ball park and kind of see what happens. Get rid of the hobos and drunks and yes people may in fact come to downtown Akron. I have yet to go to anywhere near there because all of the concerts I want to see are in Cleveland but when I have a sick child I do frequent the Hospital. Maybe I’m not cool enough to appreciate what has been done to revitalize the area. If they put in an Olive Garden or Wendy’s I’d be sure to drop by but alas I have no reason to spend time or money there.
My son and I hit the new Transit depot which is nice if you happen to remember to get a transfer or even what bus you need. The location isn’t all that convenient and as a person who remembers what Downtown Akron used to be like you don’t want to light a cigarette or else you’ll have about five people asking you if you have an extra one. There are a lot of suit and tie people there now but if you’ve lived in Akron a long time you can remember all of the places the hobos slept even though they’re torn down. The transit center is confusing. The people are quite nice and will point you in the direction you need to go even if it’s wrong. We finally make it to his school and I realized just how fat I am. I can’t walk a block without getting a leg cramp. I’m not a people person, in fact I hate being outdoors so it took a lot of will power and patience to make it to where we needed to be.
The payoff was just hanging out with my boy and having him show me where to go was quite odd. I usually tell him not to get lost and here he was telling me. I realized that he’s getting older yet I don’t want him to. He’ll always be the little boy who needs to hold my hand when we cross the street, to tuck him in at night. I don’t want him to grow up. Today I saw the man that he would soon become and it frightened me a little. The thing that depresses me the most is that there will come a day when he will actually move out on his own and that will worry me even more.
Why did I decide to start a blog? When you think about it anyone can do one and even make up great stories about a life you only wish you had. When I thought about what I wanted this blog to be about I had no idea. I figured why not wing it and just blog about whatever pops into my head. Keeps it interesting, plus I have no idea if anyone is actually going to be reading this. Does it really matter if I never get any readers or comments? Of course not but it would be nice to know that someone finds me interesting or amusing.
Might as well get the basics out-of-the-way. I am in fact a Christian but not one of those stuffy boring ones that find evil in every crawl space and home they come in contact with. I don’t know why people assume that you’re crazy when you say that you’re a Christian but then again I do. We talk to someone that we can’t see or hear, and trust in someone who again we can’t see or hear. My goal isn’t to convert anyone against their will. That seems to be a huge problem with the majority of Christians. They always want to bully people into believing in God but I understand that not everyone is willing to accept what I have to say or believe in it and that’s okay but I find people who mock my beliefs or make fun of them juvenile. If you don’t believe in God or find what I say offensive stop reading.
Some of what I believe and say may offend some Christians because it doesn’t follow their doctrine which isn’t my goal but it happens. You have so many different religious sects and doctrines that you truly can’t please everyone. For the record I am a huge Christian metal fan so I may use this space to talk about some of my favorite bands or even cd’s. A few of my favorite bands now are Flyleaf, Skillet, Place Of Skulls, Tourniquet, Stryper, Barren Cross and tons more. There are a lot of Christians that will tell you that all Christian music is bad but if you read the Bible you’ll find that it just isn’t true. Psalms 30:4, Psalms 33:2 are perfect examples of this. I do trust in the Lord a great deal so sometimes my blogs may be about something I feel led to talk about which I think a lot of bloggers who are religious do.
I also have three kids, a dog and a cat so there is always chaos around me which makes for great blogs. As a parent there is never a dull moment in a house and I love talking about my dog, my wife and my kids. This may be a tad long but I figured why not use the first real blog to introduce myself.
Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging! This is my first blog on Word Press and I have no idea what this blog is going to be about. I am a firm believer in winging it.