What exactly does out of the darkness mean? For me there’s a variety of meaning. The most important being saved from spiritual death and emerging into eternal life. Shedding the old man and becoming someone that I can be proud of. Out of the darkness was a moment where I stopped being selfish about changing my life and truly living for Christ. My wife told me this evening that I was kind of a hypocrite because I say one thing and do another. Sadly, she’s right. I thought that I had given up all of the selfishness yet I still cling to this belief that I can do things on my own when I should be trusting God. I have seen how amazing he is. When I truly rested in him and allowed him to control my life there was less confusion, less stress and a happier me.
When I trusted God I saw financial miracles occur when it seemed as if the entire situation appeared hopeless. Did I cry and whine and blame God? Of course not. God isn’t always going to do things in your life when you want him to. God taught me that you not only have to have patience but an unshakeable belief in Him. Sometimes there were tests just to see if I could totally allow myself to trust Him and my prayers were answered. The craziest thing was that sometimes I would pray and ask God for guidance or an answer and it came through other people! God would bring these people into my life and all of a sudden it would hit me that this was exactly what I had been praying for! People will say that it’s coincidence or whatever but too many things have happened to just shrug it off and ignore it.
I have really been struggling in my faith and actions as a Christian. I ended up talking to an old friend of my wife’s and as I texted her I realized that God had arranged this encounter to show me that I was slacking and allowing myself to slide away from God! Did I use that conversation as a realigning point? No, but as I write this blog what really echoes in my head is my wife telling me that I was being a hypocrite. My goal has been to lead people to Christ. I want people to look at this big goofy bald guy and say he may look rather odd but man, he’s on fire for God! I lost that passion somewhere but I feel it creeping back in. I am in awe of what God has done in my life and I know what he wants me to do with my life yet I keep resisting.
I understand that I will never be a conservative Christian that wears suits and digs coma inducing hymns. I love Christian metal and my favorite pair of jeans have the knees blown out. I totally get that older, more refined Christians may find me a bit rough around the edges but that’s why God chose me! He doesn’t want me to change my appearance or the way I talk to people because I may look out-of-place but God wants to use that to reach people. I didn’t understand until just now. God may not have changed the way I speak or dress but he’s changed my heart. My heart is full of joy and peace now. I realize that as I write this I am wasting the talents he has given me. Through this blog I now realize what he’s been trying to tell me all along. I have a talent. Use it. Reach those that are unreachable.
Through Christ I have come out of the darkness and into the light. That’s what the title represents. If only one person reads this and finds salvation then my job is done, but I want to show people that if you pray you will find the answer you’re looking for. Pick up a Bible and immerse yourself in the truth.When I rededicated my life was praying and had actually asked God about listening to secular music and I started to read my Bible and it opened to Romans 12:2. I got really excited by that verse because it showed me that I wasn’t wasting my time praying and believing in God. It was the first time I had ever received an answer and they just kept coming. The thing is to remember is that you must have faith and be sincere. You just can’t pray and expect an answer. You’re wasting your time and God’s. If you come into cynical nothing is going to happen. Just pray and tell God that you believe in him and want to feel his presence. It’s crazy when he shows himself! It feels as if you’ve struck by lightning! This is getting a bit long but the title is something I thought about changing but I like it because it reminds me of where I’ve been and where I am. God rules!