My Day Of Disconnect Day 2

   I didn’t realize that this week was going to be so difficult spiritually. I just assumed that I would disconnect myself from all the distractions that were keeping me from God and that would be it. I didn’t expect God to rip open my closet and toss out all of my skeletons but that’s exactly what he did. The hardest thing has been to admit that I was a failure as a Christian. I was face to face with that and in order for me to even move forward I had to address it and find out why. Another thing that startled me was that I had become the one thing I despise in Christians which is a hypocrite. I would update my Facebook status with all these amazing Bible verses but if you lived with me you would actually question why I would even do it. I wasn’t the best example but I understand that I can be.

    What startled me was sitting in my bathroom Monday evening and hearing; “How can you write about trusting God when you have a cigarette hanging out of your mouth?” Wait, what? I got the message and it made a lot of sense. I am all about trusting God yet I still smoke. How can I truly say that I trust in God and still smoke? I would justify my smoking by saying; “Ya gotta die of something right? At least with cigarettes I know that I did it to myself.” I also figured that Catholics smoke so how bad can it be? The point is that there is no justifying my smoking. I can’t say that I trust in God and still smoke. That evening I prayed for the first time and asked God to take away my desire and addiction to nicotine. In a perfect world I would have woken up smoke free but I am struggling but am determined to quit. God has taken away my cravings for nicotine and all I need to do is to stop lighting up.

     All in all this has been an amazing week full of introspection and hard truths but I am starting to understand what I need to do to fix what happened to make me a failure as a Christian.


One thought on “My Day Of Disconnect Day 2

  1. You know God can help you through this. Faith is powerful tool. I was able to give up my vices and I am a better person for it. But I have a long way to go.

    Someone once told me… “We are all butterflies on our own journey.”

    You have to have faith in God and yourself that you are one that will make it. Good luck and be blessed.

    btw I like the new look.

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