I’m sort of back…

     The kids are officially back in school and work is rather interesting. Once again the Lord has really been speaking to me and I’m starting to see things a bit differently, I had no idea that God will lead you somewhere that clashes a bit with what you believe yet he tells you that you’re supposed to be there. I was kind of taken aback with my new job and was shocked to see that some of the very ministers I speak out against my company actually does business with. I felt that God led me to my job yet I couldn’t figure out why. After observing my workplace these people are crazy! I mean this in a good way. They are motivators, they truly care about you and unlike a lot of companies they consider us a family which is insane. The whole point is that I thought God was leading me here to show me something spiritual yet today I realized that it was more about me being more outgoing. Working there takes me out of being singular and part of a group. Does that make sense? A lot of times I get really frustrated but today it was all gone. I had a really crappy day but ya know what? It’s not important. God led me to this company to change how I react to other people and instead of not trying to fit in God wants me to actually make an effort to be a part of my company and actually make friends. Ouch! I’m not a people person so getting this message was hard to actually digest. I avoid people yet God wants me to actually try and fit in?

     This is all about achieving what God has designed for me. Speaking in front of strangers (I have a huge fear of speaking in front of people), dealing with a horrible day yet not getting frustrated or even angry, actually conversing with people and for the first time ever actually listening. How can I do what God wants me to do and still be antisocial? In order to minister to people and talk about my faith I have to actually talk to people and allow them to get to know me a bit. God no longer wants me to be guarded but at the same time I realize that it doesn’t mean I have to actually give my life story to people either. I’m actually not minding people as much and some dude actually patted me on the back and I didn’t mentally freak out. I still don’t get why dudes feel that it’s necessary to hold a conversation at the urinal but it happens, It’s weird but what can ya do?

     God has led me to my job to of course succeed but to also become a person that isn’t just tolerant of other people but actually interested in what they have to say. I actually don’t mind talking to people and don’t cringe when I’m called upon in a large group setting without peeing my pants. I know that God is with me and it’s all a part of life. I’m actually quite entertaining yet no one knows it because I’m always huddled in a corner trying not to be noticed. God has given me courage I never knew I had. Praise God for helping me and guiding me to where I am and I like the challenges that God has presented me with. Makes the day far more interesting, 

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