The kids are officially back in school and work is rather interesting. Once again the Lord has really been speaking to me and I’m starting to see things a bit differently, I had no idea that God will lead you somewhere that clashes a bit with what you believe yet he tells you that you’re supposed to be there. I was kind of taken aback with my new job and was shocked to see that some of the very ministers I speak out against my company actually does business with. I felt that God led me to my job yet I couldn’t figure out why. After observing my workplace these people are crazy! I mean this in a good way. They are motivators, they truly care about you and unlike a lot of companies they consider us a family which is insane. The whole point is that I thought God was leading me here to show me something spiritual yet today I realized that it was more about me being more outgoing. Working there takes me out of being singular and part of a group. Does that make sense? A lot of times I get really frustrated but today it was all gone. I had a really crappy day but ya know what? It’s not important. God led me to this company to change how I react to other people and instead of not trying to fit in God wants me to actually make an effort to be a part of my company and actually make friends. Ouch! I’m not a people person so getting this message was hard to actually digest. I avoid people yet God wants me to actually try and fit in?
This is all about achieving what God has designed for me. Speaking in front of strangers (I have a huge fear of speaking in front of people), dealing with a horrible day yet not getting frustrated or even angry, actually conversing with people and for the first time ever actually listening. How can I do what God wants me to do and still be antisocial? In order to minister to people and talk about my faith I have to actually talk to people and allow them to get to know me a bit. God no longer wants me to be guarded but at the same time I realize that it doesn’t mean I have to actually give my life story to people either. I’m actually not minding people as much and some dude actually patted me on the back and I didn’t mentally freak out. I still don’t get why dudes feel that it’s necessary to hold a conversation at the urinal but it happens, It’s weird but what can ya do?
God has led me to my job to of course succeed but to also become a person that isn’t just tolerant of other people but actually interested in what they have to say. I actually don’t mind talking to people and don’t cringe when I’m called upon in a large group setting without peeing my pants. I know that God is with me and it’s all a part of life. I’m actually quite entertaining yet no one knows it because I’m always huddled in a corner trying not to be noticed. God has given me courage I never knew I had. Praise God for helping me and guiding me to where I am and I like the challenges that God has presented me with. Makes the day far more interesting,