A do over

 

     Wait, let’s pretend that I never wrote that last blog ok? Actually someone hijacked my account and wrote that one. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Why on earth would I write something like that? I am a dude that likes metal and would never write something like that. There are only explanations, The first being that my account was hijacked or I hit my head really hard and wrote a blog that I can’t remember. The mere idea that I would wuss out like that is crazy. The only choice I have is to try and explain it. You have to realize that I have been single for two months so there are times when being alone sometimes sucks. It truly does so once in awhile I actually think about how cool it would be if I actually feel in love with someone.

     Truth is I made the last blog up. Didn’t want people to worry about me. For some reason people find it odd that I am so happy without a girlfriend, and they think it’s not normal either. After being married so long I just realized that for now the best thing for me is to avoid dating and try and figure who I am before getting involved with someone. I love women I truly do but there’s just not enough time for a girlfriend right now. I am in a me part of my life. I want to be able to do what I want when I want and not answer to anyone. I see women as leeches that only want to devour your soul. That’s an ugly thought but a relationship for me is a really horrible idea. I need to figure out who I am, what I want and to be in a relationship at this selfish stage in my life is not what I want.

     I want to be able to come and go as I please and not have a woman telling me that I’m not allowed to do something. I don’t want to have to answer to anyone or even feel put out when I have to talk to a woman or hang out with her instead of being all about doing things for myself. I have also come to like the fact that I’m the boss. When you’re in a relationship you’re not in charge and usually you always wind up doing what the woman wants so no thank you. I don’t want to compromise at all and after being married for so long I have come to loath compromise. When I was married I had no choice but now I do.

    The big question is who am I? I know that I love all things metal and the type of woman I’m looking for is out there somewhere and I’ve even written about what qualities she has but who knows when or where I’ll meet her. I do now that once I meet her I will give up my selfish single lifestyle and be the ideal boyfriend. Until then I’m going to play some black metal and be a dude. Sorry about the last blog but I just wanted people to stop worrying. You know what’s funny is that the last blog  could have been one hundred percent true but the last thing I want is for people to think that I’ve gone soft. That my friends is a fate worse than death. I would then be labeled a sellout or even a fake. I have a rep to uphold. People depend on my blogs for laughter and yes even inspiration. Let’s face it some of my blogs make me look like a wimp. I am not a wimp.

     I can promise all of my faithful readers that I will not get soft. No Michael Bolton, or Celine Dion will ever be played and there will be no doilies or poetry readings even though I love Edgar Allen Poe and I dare anyone to make fun of me for that. Poe was stoned out of his mind when he wrote half of his stories and he married his thirteen year old cousin which is gross but at the same time part of what makes him so awesome. If and when I do start dating there will be no details or mad swooning because I haven’t swooned in quite some time. As I close this blog out I make a promise that there will be no more weepy or even wimpy posts and despite the fact that they show that I am human it also shows that I can in fact wuss out and we don’t want that going around. When I date I will still be hardcore and awesome which is what all of you come to expect. I won’t change who I am to please a woman or try to conform to who she wants me to be and that’s a promise. Sure, I’ve changed but I’ve kind of been forced to because there were certain parts of who I was that killed my marriage and I don’t want that to be a stumbling block in my future relationships. I just hope that my the woman I do meet and date like Christian Black Metal. If not I hope she can at least tolerate it. It’s part of what makes the man cave the man cave so lastly here’s a picture of a band I currently enjoy and the question is does this scare you?

poems_of

Cheers!

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