Movie Night In The Man Cave

     It’s true I’m not a big fan of chick flicks. Being married for so long you do have to occasionally watch them though. It’s all a part of the marriage vows. It’s right in there with the whole in sickness and in health part. As a kid I was an avid reader and my mother used to have tons and tons of these romance books lying around so occasionally I would look for other things to read and I would try to read them. The problem with them is that they’re unrealistic and give women the wrong idea. Young women are reading these and thinking that this is how love is supposed to be and in the world it doesn’t actually work that way. Men aren’t perfect and for the most part we just aren’t that romantic. We try, God bless us we try but the problem is that we’re men so our clumsy attempt at romance usually comes off silly and totally opposite what we had intended.

    What man talks like that all the time? As a guy I can write a pretty decent love letter but that’s only because I’ve been writing stories for so long it’s just something I’m good at and kind of have an idea of what women want to hear. Women want honesty, they want to be noticed, and above all they want to be swept off their feet. I can do some of that but if I was full on Fabio all the time I would feel foolish and let’s face it women would get tired of it. As a guy we are expected to look foolish and occasionally screw up a romantic date by saying the wrong the thing. That’s because we’re men. We’re supposed to screw up and occasionally set things on fire. It’s who we are. That’s why women love us.

     That’s why I hate chick flicks. It’s just an hour of my life that I’ll never get back. The plots are always the same and you can tell what’s going to happen within the first five minutes. It’s worse than torture. I also find myself bored by action films as well. I know I’m a dude but seriously action films are terrible. I tried to watch a Jean Claude Van Damme movie once and I fell asleep, There was no plot at all which bothered me. It was an hour of explosions and gun fights. I did like From Paris With Love but is that considered an action movie?

     As I sit home bored and broke I am drawn back to the films that I actually love. I am all about story, and characters that you aren’t supposed to like but do just because they’re real. You may not know someone like them, and a lot of times there’s not a whole lot of redeeming characteristics in them but you’re drawn to them and end up watching the movie because of them. Leaving Las Vegas is one of those movies. Not exactly a date movie but it’s one of those movies I’ve seen a hundred times, Ben and Sera are two of the most screwed up people you will ever see but they fall in love despite the fact that he’s a drunk who comes to Vegas to drink himself to death and she’s a hooker. Despite that they fall in love.

     My taste in movies will no doubt drive most women nuts. When you look at some of my favorite movies it’s just baffling. Little Children which is about two married people who are stuck in marriages that they have grown to realize aren’t exactly working out, and a sub plot about a guy who is recently released from prison and is a child molester. Unfaithful which again is about a woman having an affair and her husband actually finds out, Wait I’m sensing a pattern here. No, I don’t advocate cheating on your spouse but these are stories that draw you in because you don’t want to like these characters but you end up drawn to the story. I am all about drama and stories that sometimes don’t have a happy ending. In real life the bottom usually falls out and nothing works out like it’s supposed to. I am drawn to characters that are terribly flawed simply because they’re honest. They don’t try to gloss it over or pretend to be something they aren’t because in all honesty they can’t, it’s just not in them.

     I don’t think the woman I date will even appreciate Star Wars or even a movie like Sex, Lies And Videotape and that’s okay. I like that when people ask me what my top ten favorite movies are and they get that odd look when you rattle off Taxi Driver, Fatal Attraction, Leaving Las Vegas, True Crime, House OF 1000 Corpses, Death To Smoochy, The Weatherman, Little Children, Revolutionary Road, The Wrestler, and I could go on. The point is that I know that I’m not a typical guy. I’m supposed to be fascinated by explosions and cheesy dialogue but in all honesty how much stuff can you blow up? There were times I would get all excited about a movie and my wife would hate it. The movie would be all slow, and unexciting yet the story was what made the movie interesting. Is anybody else like that?

     I want a movie that will suck you in for an hour or two and just make you want to forget about the world outside, I like dialogue that you can repeat to strangers and it fits into whatever you’re talking about. When I watch a movie and Kate Winslett is telling Leonardo that she doesn’t love him, in fact she loathes him and if he touches her again she’ll scream you can feel that hatred rolling off her and you believe it. A movie doesn’t have to have explosions, or crappy dialogue to be good. All I need are a few flawed characters or an interesting plot and I’m a happy guy.

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