My ex-wife

The twins are gone until Thursday and I’m saddened by this but at the same time exhausted as well. Do any of my readers have twins? I gotta say that it was much easier when they were babies. Granted they were very needy but at the same time they were easier to take care of. They weren’t bouncing off the walls and they napped a great deal. Now that they’re eight they don’t nap. They’re like freaking energizer bunnies that eat. When they come over I’m under the impression that their mother doesn’t feed them and they end up leaving with baggies of BBQ chicken.

The whole point of this blog is to complain about my ex-wife but in a good way. How rare is that? You complain about your ex-wife and it’s nothing major. I could be saying that she won’t let me see my kids or she’s sucking the life out of me with her demands and complaints. For the record I am an awesome ex-husband. It took me awhile but I managed to move passed the whole anger and bitterness aspect of our relationship and just got to a point where I could be around her without wanting to pimp smack her.

First complaint is how clingy and spastic she is. She has a boyfriend now yet she continues to rely on me. I do the same thing but I at least reached a point where I realized that we are never going to get over all of our issues by being there as a sounding board for every problem we have. I realize that we know each other really well but as a future divorced couple we have to stop trying to be best friends and truly stop relying on each other. It sucks but it has to be that way because it’ll only end badly. I don’t mean that we’ll hate each other but we could end up back together because it’s a safe harbor.

it’s really important for us to step away from each other and rely on other people. We can’t open ourselves to any one else because we’re each others safety net. What happens when you remove the safety net? Splat. I’m talking serious splat until you find your safety net again. Could be the dog, or no one at all just an understanding that sometimes you have to rely on yourself because the other person isn’t going to be there all the time. That’s reality folks no bs or just me trying to avoid my ex-wife. I care about her a lot and hate to just walk away from her but I assure you it’s for our own good.

Second complaint is that she really wants me to date. It’s something she wants badly and you know what? I keep telling her I will never ever date again. It’s all her fault and besides I am quite happy not showering or shaving just to impress the ladies. I have my favorite Harley Davidson t-shirt that I simply adore. I wear this thing for weeks, wash it and throw it back on after my shower. It has a bunch of holes in it but it’s so comfortable. I am growing really comfortable as a single man and don’t want to have to readjust just to accommodate a relationship.

We argue about this and she swears that I will and I assure her that I won’t yet she’s under the impression that I will and refuses to believe other wise. She doesn’t seem to care about my feelings or how I feel about women in general. I really really like women but I am in now way shape or form wiling to allow a woman to saunter in and ruin all the progress I made as a single man. I like being in charge and I won’t give it up for nothing. I also like the idea of proving her wrong. It’s fun. The longer I can do that the happier I am. Just because she’s in a relationship doesn’t mean I have to be.

I like eating frozen foods and watching horror films. I apologize to my ex-wife but I like that my phone doesn’t ring and it’s some needy chick who’s had a bad day. I get all that from her so why would I want to increase that? She’s enough and as I try to distance myself from her just to see what it’s like to be totally woman free. I just want to have one evening where I can relax without my phone going off because she’s upset or needs attention. She wanted me out of the house which I left, she didn’t love me which I now accept so why exactly am I trying to be her best friend? I care about my ex-wife I do but let’s be honest if she’s miserable I’m a happy guy. I am at a happy place in my life and ya know what I would like to gloat a little.

I choose to be single and dammit if I’m happy why ruin it? If you ask what makes me happy I can tell you. Being single, seeing my kids as often as I want and seeing my ex-wife totally miserable. Is that last one wrong? I guess you could say so but ya know what? I have adjusted to the fact that my wife and I are done and that the guy she’s with is a total loser but she continues to put up with it so when she complains about how much he ignores her, how lazy he is I just want to yell: “Leave him then! Why put up with it?”  Does love make people so retarded that they would stay with someone who is a complete and total jack ass?

Here’s the thing. If I continue to be my ex-wife’s best friend she’s gonna want to be with me again and ya know what? I don’t want her right now because we would be together for all the wrong reasons and I don’t want to be with someone who is just in a shitty relationship and wants to be with me because I treat her the way she should be treated. That’s not love and I’m not going to settle with anyone because we had a great seventeen years together. What’s going to happen is that we’ll grow bored and tired of each other all over again and who knows it could be me wanting out of the marriage this time.


2 thoughts on “My ex-wife

  1. I completely agree with you my good sir, being single is by far the best thing ever. You can go out with whomever you choose and do whatever you want when you want it. something you really cant do when married. as for the kids, be happy that you get to see them as often as you want ( that is my case too, we set the schedule to where it works out equally for both of us prior to the divorce being finalized) because that’s a right not many parents get after a divorce… I have to say lol to u wanting her to be misserable, lets just say that hopefully one day she realizes what she left behind and the great person she lost becuase of whatever reason. That’s what I do, she tries to rub in my face everytime she goes out just to make me mad but i show no interest on her comment what-so-ever which ends up making her mad.

    • I am extreme lucky in the sense that my ex-wife and I do get along which is great because I have a chance to see my kids whenever I want, but I can never understand why people want me to date again. Maybe it’s because they hate to see me alone but after being with my wife for seventeen years and being a full time dad I deserve some alone time

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