So if anyone noticed the name of the blog has changed. It made perfect sense to me because of what has gone on in my life. Normal people lead normal lives and are relatively happy while I’ve discovered that for me I may be happy for awhile but then I hit a wall.
Instead of coming out of the darkness I’ve embraced the darkness and as I reexamine my life the darkness is always there. It’s who I am so why not share it? If you write an honest blog you should be able to explore every aspect of your life and people will connect with that on some level.
Instead of focusing on the religion and all my misadventures I’ve found that I’ve reached a new place that should be explored. The name change reflects who I am now. The struggle to find God, happiness, the loss of everything I own and the search for my smile.
When you begin to lose your faith and drift out of your comfort zone people scatter like roaches. The target audience shifts a bit and suddenly people begin to wonder what the hell happened.
A lot has happened in my life and the funny thing is that I’ve tried to write about it but when I set out to write I only have a vague outline of a topic and run with it. I should plan these more but then again if I did I wouldn’t have as much fun writing these.
As I begin a new direction with this blog the title frees me from my religious past and allows me to be more honest. I feel a new title allows me more breathing room and a break from an audience that expected confessions of faith and happiness.
I’m not sure where I stand with my faith and I have no idea if I’ll ever be happy again. Those are question I have no answers for but I assure you that with the new direction I can explore a lot of different avenues without fear of drifting away from who people think I am.
So now I can restructure my life and do it without dragging along people who are hoping that I’ll bounce back and begin my religious blogs again. What if that never happens? What if this is it? If I didn’t at least warn people ahead of time they can’t ask what happened to make me so bitter.
Life is full of twists and turns that leave us gasping for breath and almost kill us emotionally. How we respond to that either makes us or breaks us. I chose to fight a bit and sure I may want to quit but I can’t. My true friends and even my family won’t let me.
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