As a general rule I never think ahead. I’ve tried and all it gave me was a headache and a feeling of doom. I never know what I’m doing and I’m quite comfy with that. People that look beyond today scare me because they already have worst case scenarios mapped out and want your opinion before it even happens.
It’s cute but quite frustrating because I just wanna get through today not next week or even next month. All that matters is what happens today. I don’t wanna over think or rationalize anything that I do because I then start to panic. I can usually panic in silence but then I get all itchy and that voice in my head starts screaming at me to abandon ship.
I may seem like I have all my shit together and handle things extremely well but deep down I’m just as fucked up as everyone else. I just hide it better than most people. I’ve learned that when you second guess yourself you are allowing yourself to make mistakes.
I approach life in a weird way. I never try and plan anything because once you start planning things go off course. I could plan my entire life and could walk out my front door and get hit by a bus. I wasted more time planning than doing. I don’t want to play it safe. I want to live and not worry about what could happen. Odds are I can’t stop it anyway.
I’ve learned the hard way that life never goes according to plan. All the planning in the world won’t change anything because there are things out of our control that will alter our course anyway. So I choose to fly by the seat of my pants and whatever happens I’ll deal with as it comes up.
Sometimes you meet someone and they are totally frustrating because they’re so organized and focused on things that are just beyond your control. What can you do? You just go with it. That’s part of the attraction anyway so all you can do is listen and try to get them to just breath. Listen to what they say because if you even try to change their mind they just over think more.
Maybe it’s a woman thing. I’ve never encountered it before and as I write this I just want a donut and a cup of coffee. I have no idea what’s going to happen today and I’m ok with that. I’ll let someone else deal with the worst case scenarios and what ifs.
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