Words

     It’s come to my attention that people find my blogs a bit mean. I was quite shocked because I had no idea. To me mean would be standing outside of a gym holding a sign that reads no fat chicks.  That’s fucked up and not right. I don’t find thin girls attractive. Too many bones poking out and I always have this fear that somehow I’m going to break her in half. I put her leg over her head and I scared to death that I’m going to dislocate her hips.

     When I date a waif I always try and fatten her up. A few cookies, some ice cream, or a ham sandwich just so I know she’s at least not  anorexic or God forbid bulimic. I find fuller figured women far sexier than skinny tooth pick sized women. How sexy can a chick be if you can count her fucking ribs?

     Back to the topic of my being mean. I disagree and if I’m writing about something that may offend someone I urge them to kindly piss off. If anyone is going to ignore the warning well they can kindly eat shit. I don’t want want a bunch of whiner babies commenting on why and how I offended them because I don’t care. If I offend anyone well maybe you needed to be offended. Now kindly piss off I can cleary see your mangina.

     I think if anything I’m not mean. I’m more of an asshole. Certain people may disagree while some are clearly standing up yelling; “Yes I agree, you are an asshole!” Unlike some people I embrace my inner asshole and even found an asshole checklist and realized that no I’m not a total asshole, just maybe fifty percent asshole.

     We’re all assholes. I make fun of stupid people, I’m the guy in the grocery store that hears a baby crying and I mumble; “I’m gonna kill that fuckin’ baby.” We’ve all done it. I have made fun of my exgirlfriend and didn’t feel bad about it. All the shit I do in public will no doubt embarrass the girl I’m crazy about it but I can’t help it. Do you know why? I am a fucking asshole. Pure and simple.

     I don’t like waiting and if I’m on line at the grocery store and the fuckhead in front of me isn’t paying attention I’ll cut in front of him. Fuck him, he should’ve been paying more attention. When I’m writing my blogs and I make fun of hillbillies, retards, stupid people, and skinny bitches I never hear aa voice saying it’s a bad idea. Fuck them because we  all know that hillbillies, retards, and stupid people don’t read. If a skinny chick is offended by any of this go throw up your breakfast and leave me a nasty comment.

     Being an asshole isn’t a bad thing. It makes it difficult to go out in public but you can’t say I’m boring. I urge everyone to let their asshole free. Be an asshole for one day and then tell me how freeing it was. Once you embrace your inner asshole you’ll find that you aren’t as stressed out. Being politically correct is for pussies anyway. Why live in silence? You see a fucker in a glass house you throw bricks at that motherfucker.

     I tried really hard to behave in public I did. I opened doors for chicks I waved like a retard at people I didn’t even know but it made me feel empty inside. I am fifty percent asshole so why fight it? People will use and abuse you. Why? Because they’re fucking assholes. In one day how many times have you declared someone to be an asshole? Lost count didn’t you?

     I know there’s one amazing woman reading this and when I call her I can thank her for this blog. She has no idea that sometimes what she says will become blog material. There’s a fine line of course but she said my last blog was mean and I realized that only an asshole would write half the shit I do. I never apologize either because I have no reason to.

     My blog should always be honest and if that makes me an asshole so be it. Why filter and censor myself just to make people feel good about themselves? As fifty percent asshole I’m forced to give my opinion without fear of ridicule and someone feeling hurt by what I said. I’ll continue to make fun of the shit I find amusing and provide a running commentary on shit that intelligent people can follow.

     If you want me to water my blog down and be nicer then I quit. Stick a fork in me I’m done. I will not dumb myself down and stop being an asshole just to tweak my stats. If I wrote for high stats I’d stick a tuba up my ass and fart the star spangled banner. I’d talk about weight loss, and mangina’s or how to effectively make the girl of your dreams notice you. Yes, the blog’s changed so deal with it and please for the love of God stop saying I’m mean. I’m an asshole.

    

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