Did You Know Stalking Is A Verb?

     I am a sucker for a good deep love song. Surprising right? My favorites are the ones that are about pain and heartwrenching agony. We can all relate to pain because we’ve all been hurt. It’s through pain that we know we’re truly alive. Without pain there’s no loss, or regret. There’s love but when it fades or goes away we can’t remember what it felt like because the pain is all we remember.

     I like a good song that’s real and honest. For every sappy song about love and undying devotion you have a song like the Chain that reminds you just how fucked up love can be. The first time I heard it I was amazed by the power of the lyrics and when you heard Stevie’s voice you could feel just how hurt she was.

     Betrayal is a fucked up emotion and when someone you love betrays you it’s hard to process because this is someone we trusted and suddenly it’s all gone and without warning. The Chain was one of those songs I would listen to would later relate to at a very fucked up time in my life.

     The scariest song I ever heard was Every Breath You Take By The Police. How the hell was this is a hit? If this is ever played at a wedding I give the marriage a month. It’s all about stalking and it’s downright creepy. Not once have I ever felt the urge to play this for a woman. She would calmly ask me to leave and then she would promptly file a restraining order. Who could blame her. That could be a deal
breaker right there.

     Anytime a relationship ends and you start listening to that song you should seek help. Stalking isn’t going to win your girl back and may in fact drive her further away. The police become involved and everytime she goes out she’s looking around just to make sure you’re not around.

     I have seen countless Lifetime movies that feature dudes moping around in their underwear staring at pictures of their ex-wives or husbands. It always turns creepy when they start peeking in the windows. If she were still in love with you you wouldn’t be staring at her or him through a pane of glass.

     Creep by Radiohead is another one I just don’t get. Sure it’s a great song but not one you wanna share with someone you care about. If you think you’re a freak or weirdo odds are the relationship isn’t going to last long. Creep isn’t a good relationship song at all and may make the person you care about abandon ship. We want to enjoy the relationship not worry that if things go South you’re gonna chop our heads off and use it as a bird feeder.

     We like love because for awhile we enjoy the warm fuzzies and think it’s going to last forever but forever is a long time. People change and relationships grow a bit stagnant if the party is no longer invested in the concept of forever. That’s why we have I Can’t Live If Living Is Without You and God forbid All By Myself. Just thinking of those songs make me want slit my wrists.

     When a relationship ends you can’t listen to those songs ever. Listening to those two songs will fuck you up. Afterwards you’ll be listening to Every Breath You Take while sobbing uncontrollably. Love doesn’t always work out. Shit happens and I think we need to steer clear of breakup songs. They make us feel worse yet we cling to them like they’re life preservers. 

     I can’t live with or without you. That’s a scary concept. How in the fuck is that supposed to help anyone? I love you but I really don’t want to be with you yet shit I can’t be without you either. Make up your mind. It’s one or the other. Bono wrote a song that turned love into something that’s almost scary. Who has ever felt that way? Love shouldn’t be that fucked up ever.

     I’ve been in love twice just so I could avoid what these people were singing about. The first time it ended badly and I was fucked up for awhile. I would listen to Stabbing Westward and relate to a lot of what they were writing about. The feeling of loss and regret infested my soul and it sucked. I was listening to these songs of loss, regret and obsession and I vowed to never ever feel that way again.

       Problem is we can’t avoid falling in love. It’s like a hole in the ground. We can it avoid for months, or even weeks but one day you forget about the damn thing and fall right in. There’s just no way to avoid it. That’s why there’s so many damn love songs out there. People always fall in love and break up.

     Love makes us do things we normally wouldn’t do. Love makes you stab people for no reason at all. What a way to say I love you. I love you so much I’m going to turn you into a human pin cushion. Does Hallmark make a card for that? Roses are red violets blue I love you so much I think I’ll stab you. We turn into skeevy stalkers that have no rational though process.

      Can someone please explain the idea behind the concept of making someone love someone else? Does that work? It sounds like a bad idea to me. Whatever happened to free will? What if the other person is a little weirded out by your conviction that they are somehow going to fall in love. I want to know how that works out.

     I want love that’s uncomplicated and easy. How awesome would that be. Everyday you knew that your relationship was perfect and there wasn’t any strife or conflict. Then I realized how unrealistic that was. It’s also unfair because if we’re truly invested in a relationship it’s always going to have ups and downs but in the end it’s worth it because you know it’s real.

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