Here’s My Heart Please Dance On It

     I guess the general consensus after my last blog is that I’m a little bitter. Heck, I survived V day and even bought myself a present. I got myself a Galaxy S II and I even realized that I can actually write a blog on it. I think bitter isn’t the right word.

     I do believe that when you get to a certain age you should stop believing in love. If you’ve reached your thirties and are still waiting for the “one” odds are he or she isn’t coming. Put aside all the happily ever after bullshit and join the real world. Face it, love isn’t easy or perfect. It’s hard and there’s nothing worse than feeling as if you’ve finally done something right and watching as it blows apart.

    So no, I’m not bitter. I’m a realist. I know that love sucks. I’ve fallen so hard I woke up every morning feeling that life was full of promise. I fell hard and I’m still not over her. Love sucks and I hate it. I hate all those stupid movies that have the perfect ending and everyone lives happily ever after.

     They always forget to show the other part. The scene where the girl rips out the guys heart and begins to eat it. How many of us have been there? How many times have we been kicked in the teeth by love? How many times have we all gotten our hearts stomped on?

     This is how bad I am. True story,I saw a woman the other day and my first thought was I bet she’d look hot naked and sweaty. I imagined this poor woman naked and sweaty! I wanted to do every nasty thing I could think of and then leave and never call her again.

     In my twisted way of thinking I truly think I’ll get over the woman I’m in love withn is by having cheap meaningless sex with random women. I have actually convinced myself that any attempts to date will end in disaster. I’m thirty-nine and on the vergevof finally getting divorced and every relationship I’ve ever been in I’ve totally fucked up.

     Now I just say hi to random women and wonder what they look like sweaty and naked. I’ll hang out reading books on my new phone and watch a few horror flicks. I may occasionally date because let’s be honest and admit we are all suckers when it comes to dating. At some point some women is going to catch my eye and I may ask her out in hopes of seeing her naked and sweaty.

     That’s not true but we have to do the dating dance. It’s a part of life. Love sucks but it happens and I can hate it and try to avoid it but it’ll happen once I get over the woman I’m stuck on. It took me a long time to get over my ex-wife and I’ll get over this woman eventually. One step at a time and all that happy horshit.


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