Musings of a raving, bitter lunatic

     A few days ago it dawned on me that Metallica has a new record out and I couldn’t remember listening to it. How is that possible? This is the record that followed St. Anger which to me showed a band trying to make ammends for some really shitty music they had put out. St. Anger was a mess soundwise and shows what happens when a band puts too much faith in a producer.

     How could I not remember not listening to Death Magnetic? The first assumption was that it may have sucked so badly I just blocked it out, or I’m reaching the age where I begin forgetting everything. According to some people that’s already been happening for quite sometime.

I’ll admit that I don’t have the best memory in the world and I know one person who will probably comment that it’s because of all the pot I smoked in high school. She may be right. I smoked a lot of pot in high school. So much in fact that for years I thought Comfortably Numb was written about me. If you had scraped my brain back then you could’ve smoked the resin.

I may have smoked a lot of pot but that’s not why my memory sucks is it? I sometimes walk into a room and forget why I’m there and yes I have occasionally gotten a bowl of cereal and put the milk and the box of cereal in the fridge. Doesn’t everyone? It has to be age related. When I start wandering around in flip flops and an adult diaper I can no longer blame the pot. There is something else causing it.

I decided to listen to Death Magnetic hoping it would jog my memory. I remember listening to St Anger feeling giddy. I haven’t listened to a Metallica album since Justice so at that time all I knew was that Anger was a step back toward the sound that
defined them. Magnetic it seemes was the next step that would bring them full circle.

I stopped reading the reviews and began to think about my life and all the changes I had gone through. We all grow and move into different directions and we often look back and compare the who we are to the we were. We’ve grown older and some of us have spouses and kids and bosses we can’t stand.

I’m not the same kid laying on my mom’s roof getting high and listening to Kill ‘Em All. I have three amazing kids and I accepted that Justice will be the last great Metallica record. Bands are playing faster and even though we’d like an album like Puppets or Justice it isn’t going to happen.

I listened to Magnetic as an album that wasn’t trying to compete with the past. I looked back on my life and was blown away by how much I had grown and evolved. I saw how decisions I had made made me stronger and yes, maybe even a little bitter. I had to move forward and constantly change or else I would grow stale as a person. It seemed Metallica had done the same thing.

Death Magnetic showed me just how far I had come as a person. Sometimes we don’t realize just how much you’ve changed until you reflect on who you are and what you’ve achieved. Like Metallica I may never do anything as awesome as …And Justice For All but I’ll keep trying.

What defines me are my kids. No matter how much I screw up I look at them and known that because of them I did something right. My kids are my …And Justice For All. Nothing else in my life will ever compare to that.

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