Don’t Date Stupid People

     I haven’t really felt like blogging. Started to read a bit more. I have way too many books which doesn’t seem like a big deal until I began to realize that I have books everywhere. In boxes in my mom’s attic, piled on my dresser and even on a chair beside my bed. I have PDF books that I keep putting off because my Kindle is so full I just keep reading those because they’re handier.

     It all started with a simple goal. A hundred books in a year. Hell, I can do that. I read maybe ten books a week. My Kindle app on my phone has all the titles I really want to read and it’s always on me. Having a Galaxy II is both a blessing and a curse. I’m never bored but I can’t get shit done because I’m either reading or playing Angry Birds Starwars.

     I kept putting off the blog because my bowling adventure ended with me getting my ass handed to me by a hot chick who also tried to kill me with an air hockey puck. I could lie and say I let her win but she’d end up reading this and really bust my balls and not in a good way either. When it comes to air hockey I am a beast.

     Last night I get a text from an exgirlfriend. I get these randomly and always when I’m at my most vulnerable. I could be reading and my phone’ll go batshit crazy. I have to shrink my Kindle app and respond which frustrates me because I hate being bugged while I’m reading.

     You ever get a text from someone and your butthole puckers? You see the name and suddenly think now would be a great time to slit your own throat with a butter knife? There’s only one women I ever get excited about getting a text from. Getting a text from my ex is kind of like slamming my nuts in a car door. Its almost as painful as taking a shit and finding out that your turd has a sharp point at the end of it.

     This women can’t spell or even  write a clear sentence to save her friggin’ life. If you handed a retard a cell phone he could probably text better than she can. Words are in the wrong places and in some
texts its just garbled nonsense. Once in awhile I begin to imagine that I’m having a conversation with Yoda and he’s hammered drunk.

     I try and be polite because with her you have to forget multitasking. She will send five texts and only three contain a coherent thought. Reading is shoved aside and I begin to talk to myself. I brought this hell upon myself. Somehow I thought dating a chick who was unintelligent would somehow work out.

     I didn’t think it through at all and I should’ve. I was in love with someone I shouldn’t have been so I
figured I’d eventually stop being in love with the other woman because I’m with someone else. It didn’t happen and all I kept thinking was now what? You are now with a woman you can’t have an intelligent conversation with and she texts like a retard. You really screwed the pooch on this one.

     When the relationship ended I was giddy. Not only was this chick dumb but she was also fruit loopy. Once in awhile she’d text me and I’d shove away whatever intelligent thing I was doing so I could decipher her gibberish. As I sat there I realized that I learned a valuable lesson. Never date a stupid chick. Whatever you’re interested in they aren’t.

     If you are with a woman and you find that big words cause her eyes to go glassy and drool to drip from her mouth run. Make up any excuse and just run as if your asshole was on fire. Stupid people will exhaust you and you may even think a relationship with a stupid person could work. It won’t. This woman didn’t read, wasn’t at all into politics and wore an American flag tshirt.

     As I filtered through her messages it became clear that she still hadn’t gotten over me. She still hoped that we’d somehow get back together. I actually began sweating as I imagined what it would be like. The reading would stop. I read from at least five newspaper apps that are on my phone. She wouldn’t understand why I spent so much time on my phone.

     In one day I use my phone to check the news, check Facebook, Email, my blog, my bank account and I also read. To her my Galaxy would appear to be a  toy but it’s a link to everything I’m interested or involved in. She’s not interested in anything that I’m into so the relationship was getting a bit stale and boring while were together. Now to date her again would be sheer torture.

     Even if I wasn’t in love with someone else there would be no reason to start the relationship over because we’re just too different. The woman that I love challenges me, she infuriates me at times but when she looks at me I forget my name. For this woman I would stay awake forever just so I could get a text from her.

     Last night I realized that by dating someone less intelligent I was really trying to find a relationship that would be less demanding but it sucked away all my energy and made me miserable. I am attracted to smart chicks and will never date another dumb one again. There’s a reason we’re attracted to people.

     There has to be some common ground or intrest. If you’re with someone to forget someone else or it just seems like the right thing to do it’s going to end badly. Dating a stupid chick was the wrong thing for me to do but I chalk it up to experience and keep moving forward.



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