For as long as I can remember I have never had a filter. I assumed that people wanted honesty and over the years I have added liberal amounts of sarcasm. My best friend tells me all the time that I’m mean, and rude but I never noticed. I always say the first thing that pops into my head and I have no control over it.
If you were to have me look at someone who was unattractive I would probably say: “Jesus Christ! Did her neck throw up?” I would then start comparing her to a variety of things. Could be a mud fence, I could say; “I bet she has a lot of trouble getting laid.” You get the picture. I am a total bastard and I have never once apologized for it.
I love my best friend I do so when she told me to play nice I was stunned a bit. I remembered all those comments from teachers that I didn’t play well with others and I realized that I have never had a filter and even as a kid I would get frustrated with a kid who stuttered and yell at him to say it and not sp-p-p-pray it.
Now that I’m nearing 40 maybe I could try and filter myself. How hard could it be not give an honest opinion? I needed to remember that there are whiner babies out there with low self esteem that may in fact be offended by my choice of words. Shocking right?
Playing nice and taking other people’s feelings into consideration is an alien concept to me. Not everyone has a normal self esteem and are comfortable in their own skin. People have feelings and I need to remember that not everyone is like me. Some people don’t get the sarcasm and wit and that sucks but what can I do?
These whiner babies get offended by what I say and run home to momma and suck on her saggy breast and wait for whispered words of comfort. Here I am popping up like an asshole jack-in-the-box forcing all these whiner babies to complain and moan that I’m some kind of verbal bully. These whiner babies that suckle on their mommas titty have no idea how hard it is to be me.
I figured since I am nearing the big 4-0 I need to give up on dating because there’s no way I’m going to find a soul mate or even a relationship that doesn’t make me feel trapped and now I add this shit. Maybe I should have taken up jogging. Would have been a lot easier.
Even as I write this I hear Peanut’s voice in my head telling me I’m not being very nice and I’m failing miserably so I’ll just end this blog because no one is going to believe that I’m trying to change. I’m not a hippy that spouts words of comfort. That just isn’t me so instead I’ll just end this now.