Internet Dating??

     Why in the hell is my email being invaded by so many dating adverts? My spam box is full of this shit and I have tried to look at some of it without laughing but it’s hard. These people assume that I’m lonely or in desperate need if their services. I assure you I’m not and if push came to shove I could hit any bar during ladies night and pick up some desirable wreck of a woman.
     What scares me is that even Christians are jumping onto the web dating band wagon which is quite humorous to me. What the fuck do these ads say? Aren’t Christians supposed to wait until marriage to have sex? What man is going to agree to a date a woman if he knows that there won’t be any sex at any point during the date? Why would he agree to have a relationship with anyone that won’t put out?
   Wouldn’t that be like going to the supermarket and pushing a cart and not buying anything? At some point you’re going to get bored and start shopping. Men can’t date unless they know or feel pretty confident that at some point there’s going to be some sex. We want to see our women naked.

    Online dating is kind of like hitting rock bottom. Once you hit every bar and have dated all of the people you’ve been set up with and have still not found the right person then you go online with all the other losers who can’t find a date through traditional means. You may think it’s a good idea but once you set up the profile there’s that moment of sadness.

    You have to wade through the Quisimodo’s and bearded ladies but your dream woman is only a click away. Her picture may be grainy but read her stats! She could be the one! When you finally meet her she has a peg leg and a really bad stutter.
   I have always viewed online dating as the equivalent for being picked last in kick ball. The only people left are sneezy and wheezy so why even bother? At some point the flaws are going to appear and your dream date becomes a wheezing sneezing nightmare.   
    I couldn’t even use these sites due to my interests being so left field. They see my blog or my Goodreads page and it’s obvious that I don’t follow a normal thought pattern. My dream woman cannnot exist online. It’s not realistic. My dream woman is sitting in a coffee shop somewhere reading a Richard Laymon novel and she’s wearing a wife beater and sweat pants.
  I avoid these ads and chuckle when they compare me with someone because all they’re going by is the bullshit I put in two years ago when I was bored. None of it is true and I thought maybe it would go away but it hasn’t. Chicks are still responding and I keep ignoring it.

       If I see a chick wearing a wife beater and a pair of sweat pants I will respond and at some point I’ll have to meet her unless she’s on a Christian website. I like sex and refuse to get divorced just so I can get laid. It’s just not worth it. I’m separated but I have yet to get divorced because I don’t ever want to get married again. Being married is a great deterrent.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s