Internet Dating

     Here’s the thing. While normal people are sleeping I’m wide awake and have a job that doesn’t give me a lot to do. I have anywhere from 10-12 hours to fill and there’s only so much Candy Crush you can play before you start to grow bored.

     I have found that reading helps pass the time but I crave more. I get a lot of hits on this dating website I went onto about three years ago and what surprises me is that women have actually responded. These are mostly through instant messages that are on their server. I  order to respond you have to become a member and that’s not ever going to happen because I refuse to pay for something I can do for free.

     I found the answer through Google Play. It seems everyone is using these dating apps so I figured why not check it out. At the very least I have killed a good hour and get to giggle at all the bullshit questions they ask. These are all geared toward finding your perfect match. Does that even exist?

     Since when did we answer some random questions and hope for the perfect person to fall from the sky? What happened to chemistry? is it possible that maybe, just maybe I’m old fashioned and find this a tad bit illogical? If I have no intentions of pursuing this then why even sign up? Curiosity. I want to see what types chicks respond.

     I giggle as I look at these profiles because these women say they want a serious relationship but all I can see is their cleavage. Fuck a relationship just let me motor boat your tits! I don’t even have to have sex with you just show me your tits and I’ll move along. If you’re showing your cleavage to total strangers how the fuck am I supposed to take you seriously?

     What these woman want is also scary. They want way too much to be on a dating website. There’s too much that they admit too but the question is why? When you admit to so much information there’s nowhere to go. There should be some mystery involved.

     I admit that I won’t get any hits on my profile and I’m ok with that. All I wanted was to make the time go by faster so I filled out the surveys and shit and saw that an hour flew by. Then I checked out some cleavage and logged off. My ideal mate isn’t there anyway and I’m fine with that.

     There’s that fear that half of these women are stalkers or a serial killer anyway so I’m going to work my shift and then go home and sleep. I’ll forget all about this dating website. I have a feeling this may come back to haunt me. When I do shit like this it always does


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