I’m thankful that I get to kick your ass on Black Friday

     Ok, now that Thanksgiving’s over (thank God), I can reflect on the whole issue of being thankful. Why is it that we only have one day in which we can be publicly thankful? If one were to ponder the question there really is a lot that someone can be the thankful for.

     What I hate is when someone asks me what it is I’m thankful for. I sometimes will answer in such a way that it makes them sorry they asked me. I’m thankful that I’m not addicted to heroin. That would suck because I hate needles and the idea of shooting smack into my veins sounds kind of dangerous. People die doing that shit.

     Once in awhile you get someone who will be thankful that Jesus died in the cross for their sins and that fucks me up because you can’t really top that. Beating cancer is something else you can’t top. Don’t even attempt it. Just say nothing unless you’re addicted to heroin and Jesus somehow saved you from overdosing and even then, beating cancer wins.

     I’m not making fun of cancer because so many people die from cancer that it’s actually pretty rad when someone kicks cancer’s ass. Fuck you cancer, you lost. I’ve lost family members to cancer so I realize that when someone does kick cancer’s ass it was a hard fought battle and one that should be celebrated.

     I understand the idea behind Thanksgiving and that we should be thankful and grateful for something no matter how stupid or petty it may be. People have small minds and can’t help what they do. I am still embracing the idea that stupid people do in fact have some pretty good ideas sometimes. The problem though is that their beliefs sometimes leave me totally speechless.

     What am I thankful for? Shit, tough question because there’s just so much. I am thankful for something every day and for me there are 365 days in a year so there’s something that I’m thankful for every day. I shove aside the ideology of a holiday and ignore it. Just waking up in the morning is something I’m always thankful for.

     For me I have become happy with who I am and what I’ve accomplished so everyday there is something new, or a reminder of why I should be thankful. There has been a natural progression of financial growth so that’s something I’m thankful for especially now that the Christmas season is upon us.

     While people forgot their manners today due to black Friday I was able to stay calm and refused to to trip children that ran around like drunken little midgets and throat punch old ladies that refused to move away from a cheap display case of video games.

     Black Friday allows us to forget what we were just thankful for. What we have, and what we are. Black Friday reinforces the motto that tells us that greed is good. People will love us more if we become savages over cheap shit that no one cares about. I saw first hand how crazy people can become over lower priced goods. It’s all about being there first, showing everyone else that you have sacrificed common sense and manners for a good deal.

     You are all such good little consumers doing what the man tells you. The good, loyal consumer that shoves old ladies and and cuts in front of people all because something is cheap. It’s whispered that if you want respect and love you have to shop the day after Thanksgiving.

     I have never been the good little consumer that follows along like an obedient sheep. I don’t follow blindly as the advertising execs push me to become someone they can be proud of. I scare them becsause I have yet to buy into their philosophy that stuff makes us all happy.

     I did experience Black Friday and you people sicken me. Such good little consumer sheep following a line of cars to the local mall to suckle on the tit of commerce. Beep beep, go asshole I have to buy a cheap Japanese television so my wife’ll blow me. Green means go motherfucker!




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