I started writing some of my blogs in pieces due to my work schedule. Any of my newer blogs are actually written in a variety of places. The bulk of them are written while I’m work. Seems like a really good idea until you realize that I work 3rd shift and write when I can fit it in. You may be reading a blog that was started on a Thursday at 3 A.M. while I was struggling to stay awake so that could be why my blogs seem so weird at times. Writing actually makes the time go faster and with some of that spare time I even managed to start a book. There’s a point here. I wanted to start a schedule and throw out new blogs on Friday which aligned with my day off when I’m usually at my most coherent. I may start something on Monday and then realize that it’s total shit on Wednesday. I never know until Friday while I’m reading over what I’ve come up. I also find that by writing throughout the week I’m comfortable enough with the blog and can either add or subtract anything that I feel doesn’t fit. I never censor myself or take out anything that other people may find slightly offensive because i”m usually laughing too hard to remove it.
I’m writing this on Wednesday the night before my orientation for AMHA which is the government housing. I’ll freely admit that I’m one of the working poor. There are quite a few like me and the nice thing is that there are some of us who bust our asses working and never ask for help. Some people on the other hand will take as much shit as the government is willing to give them because they feel that they are owed something. That’s a real fucked up attitude to have. I grew with the mindset that you aren’t owed anything in this life you have to earn it. When was on welfare for a month I was in the process of starting another job so I took the help. I paid into the system so why not take advantage of it while I could? I always feel guilty when I ask for help because there are others who have it way worse than I do so they should get it. That has nothing to do with pride and has everything to do with respect.
What I’m getting at is this orientation and what it’s all about. When go in there this morning (I’m writing this at 1 A.M on Thursday) I have no idea what to expect, I have no idea what frame of mind these people are in but I’m assuming it’ll be entertaining. Lower income people are sometimes lower income for a reason. They lack education, or have some defect that keeps them from rising above their situation. As an intelligent member of the working poor I have to bring a level of dignity to these proceedings. I must be respectful and be as charming as possible. You don’t want people to think you’re one those lower income people. There’s nothing wrong with being poor but they have a reputation of being uneducated neanderthals. These people are often loud, selfish, and have the manners of a common street walker. Not all of them are like that, but most are. These are the ones on Facebook starting some type of drama with someone. These are well placed thoughts that are usually missing some words and are usually misspelled. They include numbers instead of actually letters. The message gets garbled and I always stare at them and wonder who allowed these people to use a keyboard. A keyboard in the hands of someone who is illiterate is like giving a pie to a fat person. It’s going to end badly and it’s going to be awkward.
When I envisioned this orientation I was prepared for the first. Screaming babies, some smelly wino talking to himself, and a few pregnant women just to fuck with me. I find pregnant extremely sexy so I would imagine being in a room with a few would be extremely distracting. How the fuck am I supposed to focus when there are pregnant women present? There’s no way. I don’t think it can be done. I would imagine that if hell is in fact different for everyone my hell would be me trapped in a room full of screaming babies. It drives me nuts when I’m out and some asshole has a screaming baby yet they refuse to leave. These people are inconsiderate assholes. Why would you subject people to that bullshit? If your kid starts crying leave. It’s not that hard.
When I get there there is no one there but me. I met with a very nice lady that told me that I was on a waiting list. The list for these apartments is actually being whittled down from two thousand to a smaller two hundred and of course there’s no open apartments. These AMHA folks are very thorough too. They want to look at your bank account, your employer, and even your criminal history. I was shocked because government housing projects are usually in high crime areas so to ask if I had any misdemeanor or felony convictions was a shock. All they need to do is clean up the surrounding neighborhoods and the crime issues will dwindle to nothing. People deserve to live in a nice quiet neighborhood but you always have a select few that ruin it for everyone else. As a private person I don’t feel comfortable with people digging into my finances but then again it makes sense. If you have a large amount of cash in the bank why the hell are you looking into to low income housing? I am very squeamish when people want to invade my personal bubble so this whole experience is making me a nervous wreck.
Did I learn anything today? I guess I did. Patience is a good thing to have and I have time to look at furniture and other shit I need so that when I do get my apartment I have something to move into it. Nothing sadder than a grown man moving into a place and all he owns is a television, a weird wicker chair, books, and a box of mismatched dishes that his mother gave him. I should point out that I’m in no way, shape, or form, making fun of low income housing. I am making fun of the stigma attached to it. Just because I live in one of these low income properties the assumption is that I don’t work or I’m attached to the government’s dick which isn’t true at all. I bust my ass and work well over a hundred hours in a two week period. I am educated, and speak well. The stigma is that I live in low income housing I must be handicapped or stupid which again isn’t the case. There are those types of people living there but they actually live everywhere. Even in the suburbs. Now it’s Monday and I as I’m going over this I should also point out that I’m on the higher bracket of AMHA. All that means is that I’m able to afford something that doesn’t put me smack dab in the middle of crack alley. I get to live in a quieter area than those who are essentially stuck going wherever these fine people have available. Is it fair? Sure it is because I’m a single guy that has no wife and only sees his kids on the weekends. My rent is higher than those that are in the lower income bracket but you get what you pay for and why shouldn’t get a better apartment?