It’s been a crazy couple of weeks but now it seems as if things are finally settling down or depending on how you look at it it could also be gearing up to be totally crazy again. I’ve been talking about the new book for awhile and it is now available on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Michael-Noe/dp/1461016002/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1401314012&sr=8-2&keywords=Michael+Noe. Follow the link and grab yourself a copy. I’m really proud of how it turned out and I still feel like I’m going to puke. You can also follow the official Facebook page here. https://www.facebook.com/evillives?ref=bookmarks. If you’re a fan of splatterpunk you’ll dig this. I have to be honest though and say that when I first saw the book on Amazon it was pretty fucking cool and I’m extremely lucky to be a published author.
I finally moved out of my mom’s and it’s starting to feel like home. I am sitting at my own kitchen table writing this blog. It took a long time to get to this point but it was well worth it. There always comes that point where you look back and see the journey you’ve made and ask yourself if you had a chance to do things all over would you? It would be easy to say of course because the last few years have been rough but would the outcome be the same? If I had the chance to change things and be totally happy would I still be here in this moment happier than I’ve ever been and feeling vindicated that I refused to quit? I earned my scars and I display them proudly so the answer is no, I wouldn’t do anything differently. I would gladly go through the same struggles and agony because I’m not a quitter. I wouldn’t know how to adapt to where my life is now without the heartache and struggles I have gone through.
I have to talk about the apartment because if anyone has lived in an apartment complex no matter how big you have to deal with a lot of shit and you have to have a sense of humor about it. I have neighbors that love to stare and I call them the welcoming committee. They have yet to bring me a pie or a casserole but I’m waiting patiently, These are the people you avoid because no matter what goes on here they know about it. They know who you’re fucking even if you haven’t fucked anyone yet and they also know how many people visit your apartment on any given day. When I first moved in I thought that my dick was exposed or something because they were gawking at me the entire time. I have thought about buying assless chaps for my trips to the dumpster and mailbox. What scares me is that they live right on the end so I can’t even sneak into my apartment after a night of drunken sex.
I’m a hermit by nature and because of my work schedule it’s impossible to know when I’m home. In any apartment complex you have that creepy guy that no one sees and when you do it’s like hitting the lottery. I’m that guy! I come and go at odd hours and I’m expecting one brave neighbor to venture over just to make sure that I’m not storing body parts in my kitchen. I’m expecting my shipment of books on Monday and that should add to the mystery a little. I can already hear the discussion already. “He’s never home and just today he got a box delivered to his door. I bet it’s a bomb.” I’m sure at some point I’ll meet my neighbors but with the book and the job and the new girlfriend the neighbors are the least of my worries.
There are a lot of kids here and it drives me nuts when they stand outside of my apartment and scream. I have no idea why they feel the need to stop by my window and scream but I want to thank them for acting like assholes. I have a playground next door so I expect them to run around like drunken little midgets but Jesus Christ have some respect. I have zero patience as it is and sure, I have kids and I love them but I hate every other kid I come in contact with. They have no quiet voice at all and as they run around they feel as if the entire neighborhood should be aware of their presence. I don’t want to hear that shit while I’m watching a movie and I don’t run around their apartment acting like an asshole. I am getting older and expect a level of not just respect but privacy so kindly get the fuck off of my lawn jack ass!
Maybe, just maybe these kids are in cahoots with their mothers. You know the women that are trying to find a baby daddy? Apartment complexes like these are perfect for late night booty calls and any women that sees a single guy gets a little excited and prays to God that this could be the one. You know the guy that sweeps her off her feet and declares his love for her on the jungle gym. Having sex with a single mom is tricky because they aren’t looking at just today or even a week from now, They want to marry you so you can be their kids baby daddy. These are evil vile women that wear sweat pants and wife beaters to attract a man and once he’s snared game over. You wake up and the kids staring at you and asks; “Are you my new daddy?” If that ever happens just fucking run. Forget the pancakes and just get the fuck out. That bitch is already planning your wedding. You may as well just move in at that point.
I did start dating again which is probably upsetting to the single women that live here and are looking for a baby daddy. My girlfriend will never be invited over for tea or get to gossip with the gawkers. By coming into my apartment at random times she has probably fueled a great deal of gossip which I find amusing as hell. Let me talk to the dads for a second because you’ll be able to relate to this, When you’re a prime target for gossip and you have the girlfriend over and your ex-wife drops off the kids doesn’t it make you giggle because you know they’re trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. There are strange women going in and out of your apartment so what do you do? If your me you walk with a slight limp. My girl is amazing and it’s made this whole move easier and a lot more fun. It kind of sucks that the neighbors see her coming and going so much yet they have never said hello.
I guess for awhile these blogs are going to be a lot of fun to write. I have the apartment and the girlfriend and the book. I have a lot of shit to get into so the adventure begins again. If you’ve read this blog in the past you’ll remember that I wrote about all sorts of crazy random shit. This time it’s a bit different because I have lived on my own but this time it’s all about readjusting and finding a balance that works. The book and the apartment kind of fell together quickly and at the same time so I’m still trying to wrap my head around that. I have reconnected with an amazing woman who is exactly what I’ve been looking for but this time she’s a mystery that not many people are going to read about. The big question is has she read the blogs? Yep she has and she’s amused by them and yes she’s read the book and knows all about me yet she hasn’t run screaming which is awesome.