Pumpkin Up Your Ass

The fall will be arriving before you know it and with that comes the usual bullshit. What horror films will you be watching and how much pumpkin spice will you consume. There really isn’t a right answer for that because I never stop watching horror films and I am a big fan of pumpkin spice cappuccino so around this time I get a little excited. I have the Keurig coffee pot now which means when I piss it’ll smell like pumpkin spice. It’s not a bad smell and each time I piss I’ll be reminded of why I love fall so much.

I’m not a big fan of summer. It’s hot and nasty and I hate that my balls stick to my leg from sweating so damn much. I like the cooler weather and as Halloween approaches I am excited as fuck. Halloween is great because you always find great horror films at a discount. You never know what you’ll find and now that classic horror films are now being ushered onto Blu-ray I have a little spring in my step. As a horror writer it’s pretty obvious that I love me some horror but I also get a bit nervous.

I’m supposed to have a list prepared for horror films and novels. Problem is I don’t get scared watching horror films. I tend to watch the shit that gives people nightmares and I can really name one film that truly scared me and that was The Strangers. That movie really freaked me out. I watch a bit of Japanese horror and urge people to watch Let The Right One In which is actually a Swedish film. Yeah, I know it has subtitles but it helps me out because I don’t speak Swedish.

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I know that most people flock to the old stand-byes anyway. You know the classics like Evil Dead, and Friday 13th. A Nightmare On Elm Street and Scream are usually on there as well and they should be. The Blair Witch Project is another good Halloween flick, but you should also watch the sequel. Book Of Shadows got a lot of shit and it shouldn’t have. It’s a damn good film. It had the balls to be different and people shit all over that film


As far as novels go you should really not ask me what I think you should read. All Hallow’s Eve by Richard Laymon. Hell any Richard Laymon should be read and not just on Halloween. You should also read Pet Sematary because it’s a damn fine horror novel. You also read this while sipping on a hot pumpkin spice cappuccino.

You should just enjoy the fall but be careful because you may run into this shit 

This is another film that just doesn’t get enough respect, but I will make sure that it does. This is one you should watch on your Halloween horror marathon.          220px-Jennifers_body_ver2

I think we should just enjoy the fall and hold the one we love a little tighter and for fuck’s sake rake some leaves. Would it kill you? I think if you really want me to give you a list of scary shit I have tons of it all over this blog in various posts. You should also be prepared for some gore. With the passing of Wes Craven I’m reminded of just how influential he was on not just film makers, but writers like me. If he hadn’t created The Last House On The Left and even The Hills Have Eyes there wouldn’t be a splatterpunk. I would be like a third rate James Patterson or Stephen King. I would be just another boring cappuccino without the pumpkin spice.

When you really go balls deep in your horror marathon you will see blogs devoted to horror films and novels. I like that people will be giving horror the respect it deserves. It’s an art form that I love and thrive in. All those years spent watching Jason and Freddy kick ass and take names showed me that I my ideas weren’t so fucked up. I’m able to share my love of the genre with other people and hopefully it influences a new legion of fans. Happy fall everyone.


3 thoughts on “Pumpkin Up Your Ass

  1. Yeah, I’m not a fan of summer at all. I live in Vegas and hate the sun and heat. I’m only happy from oct-feb. I have reverse seasonal affective disorder! Oh, and I love The Strangers, and Let Me In is a beautiful, haunting movie. I enjoy having to read my horror movies. Some of the best ones are foreign.

    • I live in Ohio which isn’t bad, but bad enough to make me grumpy. If you’re into foreign horror films I recommend The Audition. Very well made film. Some people are film snobs. They think a movie with subtitles is distracting but they’re missing out on some high quality stuff.

      • I mention Audition in two of my post’s. I love that movie. And I also like movies with subtitles, even though I spend a lot of time rewinding because I’m a slow reader.

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