The Stand Vs Swan Song

It’s a question that has plagued horror fans for years. Which book is better? In one corner you have the classic Robert R. McCammon novel Swan Song

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In the other you have Stephen King’s beast The Stand.

 

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Both novels have the same themes, and for King marks the answer is simple. The Stand. It was more popular and it had a comic book and a mini-series based on it. Does that really make The Stand better? It’s been years since I’ve read Swan Song and as I looked at them both sitting there on my shelf I thought; Why not read them back to back? I then put them back on my shelf because these books are huge! Over a thousand pages each. I would be crazy to take on something like this. I’m an old school King fan, and it’s because of him that I’m a writer so length isn’t really the problem. I was worried about depression. These are some serious books. You would need alcohol for a challenge like this.

Then I threw the idea out on Facebook and people were actually interested in reading a blog based on both books. Which one is in fact better? As I write this I know that I have my work cut out for me. This can’t be done half ass like. There needs to be notes, and a clear winner. I can’t pussy out and say; “They’re both really good in their own way, so there really isn’t a winner.” There has to be a clear cut winner. This is where you come in. I want your opinions. Once I pick a winner I want your feedback. Share this blog and spread the word. Horror fans are loyal people so I want to hear what you have to say.

The rules here are simple. Read both books, take notes and pick a winner. Why is the other book better? Is it plot, characters? The way it makes me feel when I dance naked rubbing the book against my chest? Writing style here is also essential. If one book bores me I may have to tap out. If I’m bored at any time reading either book we are really fucked. What kind of bullshit would that be? To be completely fair to my childhood I am reading the ’78 version of The Stand. This is the one that I grew up with and originally it was all I had to pit against Swan Song. No comics or mini-series either. I didn’t have that shit as a kid so it doesn’t count.

That’s it. I am delving into these books over the next few weeks and we will have a clear cut winner or further debate on which book is actually better. Is Swan Song a rip-off of The Stand? Tune in and find out.

 

 

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Personal Space

Hi, 2nd blog in two days and I thought about this while I was at work. An entire blog just popped into my head. That’s the beautiful thing about being a writer. There are always ideas filtering  through. Some suck while others don’t. I even stopped writing this long enough to take a piss.

I did wash my hands just in case you were wondering. Nothing worse than someone pissing and not washing their hands.  I headed straight to a stall so I could piss in peace without someone wanting to start a conversation. This is all about boundaries and how some of you fuckers have absolutely none. Nothing worse than someone pissing and not washing their hands. You know that asshole is going to want to shake hands at some point during the day.

This is about personal bubbles and the need to respect them. Why is personal space such a non issue with people? This entire blog stems from a Facebook post about my experience at the bank. A crowd of people and I’m on my phone and some lady wants to talk to me. I still don’t know the protocols of politely telling someone to piss off.

When I say I hate people it’s shocking because as an author I picked the wrong profession didn’t I? I should clarify a little and just say that I hate talking to people. I’m a private person and find that talking to complete strangers isn’t high on my list of shit to do on any given day. If I look friendly I apologize. I’ll try and fix that immediately. Is it my face that makes it appear as if I’m dying to hear your life story?

I have had about an hour to think about this due to me writing it at work. Don’t worry I wasn’t loafing or searching for porn. I have a job that allows me to have free moments to collect my thoughts and ponder the fate of the universe. That’s a full of shit statement. I actually wonder why parents can’t keep their damn kids quiet and why the kids feel this insatiable need to let everyone around them know that they’re in the same general area. Not everyone finds your kids cute and charming. Some of us find them fucking annoying.

Here’s my thing. I have a personal bubble. When I’m out doing my thing I don’t want to talk to anyone. If you drop your keys or something then we can converse but unless I initiate some kind of verbal cue then stay the hell away from me! Just because you’re a chatty person doesn’t mean we all are. Some of us don’t like talking to strangers. We grew up with stranger danger and that shit always sticks with us. We have thoughts of our own to deal with. Stuff like; I really gotta shit, I hope this line moves soon, or if this asshole doesn’t shut up I’m going to pull his lips over his head.

What also bothers me are the huggers and the touchers. I think I may have spoken about this in other blogs but nothing creeps me out more than when people touch me or want to hug me. I’m not afraid of germs I just don’t like being touched.When strangers do it I lose my shit. It’s gross and unnecessary. I don’t know where your hands have been so refrain from putting them anywhere near me. We all learned about personal space right? Why is it so hard to respect that shit? If you don’t know someone why the fuck are you touching them? Are you that starved for attention that you have to touch strangers??

If I know you then by all means touch away unless you’re grabbing my cash and prizes. That’s where I draw the line. I explained this to Mindy and it came out wrong. I’m cool with her touching me, but if I didn’t know her it would be totally different. I’ve decided that if and when I do book signings it’s going to be extremely hard for me to stay calm and not freak out when people want to shake hands or touch me. I may have to have a Purell station close by just to be safe. I’ll refrain from cringing on the outside but inside I will be screaming. As far back as I can remember I’ve always been like this. I’ve gotten over a few of my anxiety issues but I’m sure I still have some left and you aren’t helping me.

I don’t mean to sound like an asshole but I like my personal bubble. I hate when it’s raped by thoughtless people that want to talk about their cat or how long they’ve been waiting in line. Doesn’t concern me because in about two seconds I won’t even remember who you are or that your cat gets raging boners when you touch his chin. Mindless conversations irritate me because I don’t know what to say to you. What is it that you want? Are you lonely or just want to feel as if you’ve made some sort of connection with a random dude at the bank? Are we supposed to exchange numbers and maybe meet up later for coffee?

I’m a really nice guy when you get to know me but I don’t want to know everyone I come in contact with. It’s exhausting. I don’t have that kind of time and you shouldn’t either damn it. It makes me feel like a  slacker that I haven’t talked to my 100th stranger of the day. Just sit in your seat or stand in line and shut the fuck up. It’s really not that difficult.

 

 

 

Cheap promotion and Barry Manilow

Hi, did you know that I have a book out? I do. It’s called The Darkness Of The Soul and you can buy the digital or the dead tree version. MICHAELS NOES COVER(2).jpg

Pretty cool isn’t it? If you’ve read Legacy I can assure you that this one is different. I know every writer says that but I mean it. I knew that people were expecting a gore fest this time around, but I wanted to challenge myself a little so this is actually a book. Close to 400 pages. I wrote big. If you want to check it out I have a link right here

amazon.com/…book/dp/B01F0H0VR4/ref=sr_1_2. I’m also looking for reviews so if you read it and liked it write a small review. If you liked it and hated it send me your address and I’ll come over to your house and kick the shit out of you. I’m only kidding about the last part.  Also if you want to check out my author page on Facebook I have that link too.facebook.com/michaelnoeslegacy. I do try and update it  often as I can.
      I know a lot of people may be a little concerned about my Barry Manilow issue but I assure you  everything’s fine. Barry-Manilow.jpg
As a horror writer I need something relaxing so I throw on some Barry and chill the fuck out. To me no one is cooler than Bob Fuckin’ Saget and Barry Fuckin’ Manilow. If Legacy were every made into a film I would request that Daybreak be played during the opening credits. If you read Legacy you should let Daybreak play in the background. It’s fucking awesome.  I hear that song and think about the most violent death scenes. It would be the perfect theme song for a killer.
     Mandy fucking rules. I hear that and  write some great horror. What cracks me up is that people have this idea that I listen to some really hardcore music when I write, but odds are it’s Barry and the sad part is that Mindy makes me put in my head phones in when I listen to him. Manilow Monday makes me happy because I hate Mondays but it’s less suckish with Barry.
      I’m writing this now and singing along to Could It Be Magic. I want that somewhere on the Legacy soundtrack too. You know who else doesn’t get any respect? Neil Fuckin’ Diamond. Holy shit! Awesome songwriter. How can you hate Cracklin’ Rosie? I hear I Am I Said and that’s my goddamn anthem! I know what you’re thinking; I’m a horror writer who happens to have lost his fucking mind but I haven’t. If I did how would I know?
      I know that people feel really bad for Mindy. She has to deal with me all the time. Taco Tuesday, Manilow Monday. I thank God that she loves me. I would love to play her It’s a Miracle but she has banned Barry from the fucking house! It’s a travesty I tell you but I still love her and thank God that she loves me too. It’s A Miracle could be our goddamned song! By Baby Loves Me also makes me think of Mindy but she won’t ever get to hear it. When I watched Fuller House she was nowhere to be found. You see I’m not your typical horror writer. People are now looking at me in a whole new light. Pretty scary isn’t it? Is my cool factor gone yet? It’s okay cos it’s daybreak if you wanna believe it can be daybreak ain’t no time to breathe. Thanks for reading and don’t forget check out my new book available now at Amazon.