Doctor Who Would Cure Ebola

This whole Ebola thing has me perplexed and now that it’s almost over it’s okay to crack a few jokes right? I forgot my check list so I’m not exactly sure what is and isn’t supposed to be funny. People get butt hurt way too much over stupid shit. When I was a kid we joked about everything and no one got offended. Now you have to be careful because if you call someone a faggot in a crowded airport you will be tackled by strangers and beaten up. The guy that you called a fag will skip over and bitch slap you and possibly tweak your balls. See? That right there just offended someone. The Tinkerbell fairy will now visit me while I’m asleep and ass rape me. I did it again, Shall I go back to talking about my writing? The fact is you laughed and you too are going to hell, wait, are the Christians still in the bunkers waiting for Jesus to herd them home like the good little ship they are. They were all chanting and cheering awhile ago. I swear I heard them singing hymns at the first sign of Ebola. God is a loving God who will send an infectious disease to wipe out the sinners. Jesus loves me cos he killed the entire planet with Ebola. That should be on a goddamned t-shirt.

A few weeks ago I was talking to my best friend about this whole Ebola thing and I got worried. Intelligent people get worried when shit like this happens because the majority of the population is gullible and will believe anything the media tells them to. If Fox News told Conservatives to jump off a bridge they would. O’Reily would be spouting off these amazing percentages about how a mass suicide would show the Liberals that they had somehow ruined the country with their gay agenda or whatever hate speech was popular that week. It would probably be that Obama is the antichrist and the only way to stop him would be to jump off a bridge, Off the conservatives would go like good little lemmings and splat themselves into oblivion, The Ebola thing scared me and, it wasn’t even the disease that scared me. it was the fact that a lady got on a plane and traveled to her hometown. I live in Ohio and imagine how pissed we were to hear that shit, For awhile Obama wasn’t the antichrist, She was, The blame shifted to her, She became the poster child of stupidity and now I guess she’s okay but seriously, what the fuck was she thinking? She put a lot of people at risk and for what? A family reunion?

Ignorant people made Ebola more fucked up than it was. Some people thought Jesus was coming back and some were pretty sure it was a direct hit to eliminate the blacks from the world. Racists had a field day with this one and how could they not? Charles Manson thought it was the return of Helter Skelter. No Charlie didn’t say that but it sounds like something he would say. Now Obama wants to bring those infected here so we can cure them and I don’t think that’s a good idea. The conspiracy theories are already flying about this one and the last thing we need is a two hour special debunking the Ebola Conspiracy theories. Look on the bright side we got a cool costume out of it. Now that makes Ebola hot.

sexy_ebola_costume

The thing that we were talking about was how nasty people are, If you think about it we live among some nasty people. Do we really need a sign that prompts employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom? What kind of sick fuck takes a shit and doesn’t wash their hands? Apparently, a lot of people. Makes you think twice about eating out doesn’t it? How many waiters are shitting and not washing their hands? Did the person that’s cooking my food just drop a shit and not wash his hands? What about the people that process my food? Holy shit there’s a whole slew of people touching my food!!! Did they take a shit and not wash their hands? Why in the hell do we need a sign urging people to wash their hands after shitting anyway? Isn’t that common sense? There are nose pickers, ball scratchers, vag sniffers all walking about without washing their hands. Suddenly the idea of shaking hands doesn’t sit that well with me. I don’t want people touching me at all. Stay the fuck away from me! The Ebola thing just made aware of how disgusting people are. As we talked it dawned on me that in America are not the sharpest peanuts in the turd.

We need a warning not to eat soap, a warning telling us that our coffee’s hot. Isn’t coffee generally hot? Why in the fuck do we need a warning for that? What kind of asshole would sue over a hot cup of coffee? The judge allowed this? It’s coffee, it’s hot, case dismissed you are an idiot! Next case! The Ebola thing just made me realize just how ignorant people are and they shouldn’t be allowed out of their house because they may in fact infect others with their stupidity. It happens and Fox News is proof of that, Now that I’ve offended half of my readers I should really end this, My girlfriend brought Godzilla over and I really want to see it.