Character Blog Tour

  I was tagged about a week ago to do this and I thought what the hell it sounded like fun. Jim Goforth tagged me for some reason and his book is called Plebs and can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Plebs-Jim-Goforth-ebook/dp/B00HXKDSQS/ref=la_B00HXO3FRG_1_2_title_0_main?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406763358&sr=1-2  

     So here’s the questions I think I was supposed to answer which if anyone knowns me I fail to sometimes follow simple directions. It could be the ADD but who knows.

1) What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person?

My main character’s name is Kevin. He’s an aspiring serial killer that slowly goes insane. He’s total fictional but if he was he a real person it would be pretty interesting. 

2) When and where is the story set?

Legacy is set in Milton Ohio which is a place that I made up. I live in Ohio so I created a small town that seemed like the perfect place to live and shatter the bubble of small town safety  

3) What should we know about him?

Kevin is a killer that kills simply because he wants to. A lot of killers grow up with certain patterns or some type of mental illness but Kevin is an ordinary guy that wants to see what it’s like to kill. 

4) What is the main conflict? What messes up his life?

Kevin himself. He becomes addicted to killing and we see him slowly go insane which to me is the most terrifying aspect of who Kevin is. 

5) What is the personal goal of the character?

To murder and get away with it. Unlike a lot of serial killers Kevin really has no set type. He will kill anyone so there’s not even a pattern that links him to his murders. 

6) Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?

The title is Legacy and the book is available from Morbidbooks on Amazon as a paperback and Kindle. 

This is the synopsis of Legacy.

~ A DIRTY SHAMEFUL DEVIL OF A SECRET…
Something that two men share. A legacy that will shock you to your very core. One that is created not out of madness, but of the purest desire. Take a vivid journey into the mind of the killer and his biggest fan. Do you believe in evil? See the knife plunge. Lap at the wounds. Do you still? There is no rational meaning or pretty words that will hide away the darkness that the words of this found journal creates. Inside is the real truth. And it can set you free. Watch all you want. Taste what you dare not have. But once you see, you are in collusion. Keep reading and the guilt will stain. No longer can you feign innocence. The change is as permanent as it is wretched. Perhaps you should just walk away. This shit right here is a MorbidbookS blunt. You dig?

 

You can find Legacy here:   http://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Michael-Noe-ebook/dp/B00KKNRPQ4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406764206&sr=1-1&keywords=michael+noe+legacy

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I Love It When You Call Me Big Poppa

     Now that I’m a published author that shit comes out often from other people. I don’t say it because no one knows the fuck I am. I wrote an extreme horror novel that gets very little  publicity. Let’s face it when I tell people what genre I write in they get this blank look on their face and when I mention that it’s quite violent they regretfully tell me that they’re not really into that type of fiction. I’m not bitching and I’m quite proud to be in a genre with people like Richard Laymon and Edward Lee. If the book ever sells I look forward to those questions that ask me why I feel the need to be so violent and do I ever feel that I’ve gone too far? I walk out of my apartment wearing my Exorcist T-shirt and no one knows that I was the guy that wrote Legacy. It would be cool to be recognized but the truth is that I’m an indie author that still works a full time job. Nothing has changed and thank God for that, When you get a bit of notoriety people automatically think you’ve changed or have some new attitude. What’s funny is that when people find out I have a book published they think I should announce it. I should just walk into the grocery store and yell: “Who got a published? That’s right bitches. This guy!”  No one gives a shit because no one reads and if they do they don’t read my type of fiction. If I were a type of movie I’d be low grade porn and if I were a type of music I’d be black metal but not the shitty kind.

     If I had written a romance novel I’d be raking in the bucks. Romance novels sell because soccer moms and bored housewives need a book full of fucking, You don’t even need a plot for that shit just a cowboy or a knight and a princess or a dirty little slut trying to change her life but can’t stop fucking. Every scene would be full of sex. She’d be grocery shopping and drop her list and some random dude would show up and start banging her in the deli aisle. Shit, to write a romance novel you just have to think like a woman. Imagine that you have a vagina and bam. Soccer moms want to feel all hot in the ass and to forget about the kids and the husband that finds farts funny. Women like the idea of romance and guys have dicks so we tend to not be romantic. Why do you think they make us watch chick flicks? They want us to make them swoon and to feel that they haven’t gotten into a relationship with a caveman. In romance novels the guys never pull out their cocks and say; “Wanna touch it?”  The women always get their clothes ripped off and are bent over kitchen tables and talked to as if every moment is full of sex and sweat. If I had written a book like that I would be the shit and soccer moms would flash me their tits.

     Instead, I wrote a novel about a serial killer. I actually send pictures of drills and jack hammers to my girlfriend asking if I can buy one. It’s gotten to the point where she reads the new manuscript and tells me we aren’t allowed to have a hammer. Ever. I can’t even watch her sleep. The crazy thing is that this woman loves me and loves that I write shit that scares the hell out of most women. Sure, I’m not allowed to own power tools or handle anything sharp and pointy when she’s around but she fucking loves me and that is awesome. When I’m writing and she hears me giggle she asks me what I’ve done this time and I love that if I feel that a certain scene is total shit she’ll give me an honest answer. Most women won’t be honest with you because you’re the writer and they don’t want to offend you but she doesn’t care. She loves my book and isn’t mortified by the violence. I have the best girlfriend ever. I am lucky to have someone who not only gets me but gets why I write what I do. When I got published I swear that she was more excited than I was.

      I found my hot nerd and damnit she may not be familiar with splatterpunk but she’s trying and that’s fucking awesome. Of course there’s a trade off and I have to learn about Dr Who and Harry Potter but if you date a nerd you have to sit through the Avengers. I do this because I love her and she puts up with the horror movies and all out weirdness that I write. Relationships are all about equality and I may not dig Thor but I dig the way she feels in my arms so I will watch that shit over and over again. I have never read a Harry Potter book but if it makes her smile I will read that shit. She’s reading Richard Laymon so of course I’ll read Potter. I will read Potter and not bitch I swear. That will probably be my next blog. Fuck Harry Potter. The main thing is that I’m dating a hot nerd. A woman that I can have an intelligent conversation with and ask who shot first? Han or Greedo and she’ll get it.

     I also have to talk about the new apartment and the fact that for an entire month I was extremely broke. So broke that I my paychecks were gone as soon as they hit the bank. I had the starving artist thing down and can tell you that it’s a real thing. I know what you’re thinking: “You’re a published writer how is that possible?” I write extreme horror. If I wrote about busty maidens getting fucked every other page I’d be rolling in dough but I write about a dude that slaughters people so you can see right off Oprah isn’t inviting me to be a part of her book club. If you guys don’t follow this link and buy my book no one knows it exists. If no one reviews it no one is willing to part with their hard earned money and take a risk on a new author. http://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Michael-Noe-ebook/dp/B00KKNRPQ4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405064744&sr=8-1&keywords=Michael+Noe  there’s the link. Check out Legacy and leave a comment if you’ve read it and check me out on Goodreads and like my author page https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8289470.Michael_Noe

   

Splatterpunk And Manginas

     With Legacy being released I figured why not take a vacation to promote it? I had actually reached a point where I needed some time off. I work third shift so I could use a normal bed time. I think most of all what I really wanted was a chance to settle into my apartment. A week off doing Jack shit was exactly what I needed.

     I was able to lose an entire manuscript due to an accidently tablet reformat and I also got to see my book in print format which is pretty rad. I spent so much time writing it and then seeing what the finished product looked like that I didn’t even imagine what it would feel like actually holding a copy in my hands. It’s a bit surreal and when people ask you to sign theirs you have no idea what to write. It’s almost like signing someone’s yearbook all over again. What the hell am I supposed to write? See you around maybe?

     I’ve settled into the new apartment and due to a new relationship I have a woman already marking territory. It sounds pretty frightening but it’s not.It just shows that if a woman likes you some of her stuff will just migrate into your apartment. You may not even realize how much stuff is there until you open your medicine cabinet and find your girls tooth brush and in the fridge you find her coffee creamer.

     I’ve noticed that if a woman really likes you she slowly brings stuff into the apartment when you’re not looking and you’re favorite t-shirt comes up missing not long after you’ve taken it off. The whole shirt thing I’ll never understand and I assume it’s a chick thing because I have never stolen a chick’s shirt just cos it smells like her. As a horror writer I have to be careful because I do have a rep to uphold. I can’t be all mushy and shit and spout off poetry. That would result in me losing my hardcore horror writers card. People have this idea of what a horror writers supposed to be and now that my first book has been released I have to be careful.

     I just can’t believe that my vacation is almost over. I have another year before my next one and I need to plan better. I hope by then I’ll have another book out or at the very least a movie made based on Legacy. I would love to see what I created on a flat screen tv. I don’t even care if it’s direct to blu-ray as long as that shit gets made.

     I can also tell you that if you’re a writer hoping to be published you are going to need to get a pimp hat. You think just because you wrote the book you’re done? Not true and I have spread links faster than Linsdsey Lohan’s thighs and you never know if it’s actually working. You want people to read your book so you network and become a pimp. Is it fun? It can be because you should be proud of your work. If you aren’t then why the fuck did you agree to have it published? You should quit now because you have no business writing.

     I had no idea that promotion would become like a second job but that’s why I took the vacation. I want people to read Legacy so I spread links and even added it to Goodreads hoping someone would at least review it. The thing is that reviews are really hard to come by and it’s kind of like pulling teeth. I’m curious to see what people thought of it. As a writer you vomit out this novel through your brain and then fret that people aren’t’ going to like it.

     Let’s go back to the woman for a moment because I’m sure there are a lot of people who are saying; Fuck the book mate, tell us about the woman. I keep going back to Of Mice And Men and Lenny is all about the rabbits. Tell me about the rabbits George! That’s how I feel. The book Isn’t as important as the woman who has started bringing stuff into my apartment. Tell me about the woman Mike.

     When I compiled the list I had no idea that this woman actually existed. I figured I’d write the list and promptly forget about it because I just wrote the list so people would stop trying to get me to date. At the time I lived with my parents so it would have been embarrassing to date anyway and feel as if I were totally invested in a relationship.  No woman is going to want to date me for very long and I accepted it and compiled the list. I was able to tell people to politely piss off that way.

     The thing to remember about life is that it happens no matter what. You can say that you are going to be single forever but at some point a woman is going to approach you and she is going to blow your mind. You can’t plan for that type of shit either. You just wake up one morning and she approaches you out of nowhere and before you know it you’re wondering what happened.

     All I will say is that she is exactly what I’ve been looking for. The geek, the chick who is not only intelligent but someone that totally gets me. She sees exactly how random I can be and she accepts it. A woman like this is awesome because she Isn’t looking to mold you into someone you will never be. She will have you watchihng Dr Who and Firefly because she loves this shit and to compromise she is williing to watch some weird fucked up movie because she likes you.

     This is the kind of woman that you can listen to old Beatles songs and you see her in most of them. It’s rare to find a woman like that so all you can really do is hope for the best and invite her over for dinner. When she walks in the door you get all excited and think that this is the happiest you’be been all day.

     I realize that If I write anymore of this blog my reputation as a hardcore splatterpunk author will suddenly become questionable. How in the hell does he manage to write such a fucked up novella with a vagina? So instead of bringing my manhood into question I’ll just end this blog here.

Higher Than God

     It’s been a crazy couple of weeks but now it seems as if things are finally settling down or depending on how you look at it it could also be gearing up to be totally crazy again. I’ve been talking about the new book for awhile and it is now available on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Michael-Noe/dp/1461016002/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1401314012&sr=8-2&keywords=Michael+Noe. Follow the link and grab yourself a copy. I’m really proud of how it turned out and I still feel like I’m going to puke. You can also follow the official Facebook page here. https://www.facebook.com/evillives?ref=bookmarks. If you’re a fan of splatterpunk you’ll dig this. I have to be honest though and say that when I first saw the book on Amazon it was pretty fucking cool and I’m extremely lucky to be a published author.

    I finally moved out of my mom’s and it’s starting to feel like home. I am sitting at my own kitchen table writing this blog. It took a long time to get to this point but it was well worth it. There always comes that point where you look back and see the journey you’ve made and ask yourself if you had a chance to do things all over would you? It would be easy to say of course because the last few years have been rough but would the outcome be the same? If I had the chance to change things and be totally happy would I still be here in this moment happier than I’ve ever been and feeling vindicated that I refused to quit? I earned my scars and I display them proudly so the answer is no, I wouldn’t do anything differently. I would gladly go through the same struggles and agony because I’m not a quitter. I wouldn’t know how to adapt to where my life is now without the heartache and struggles I have gone through.

     I have to talk about the apartment because if anyone has lived in an apartment complex no matter how big you have to  deal with a lot of shit and you have to  have a sense of humor about it.  I have neighbors that love to stare and I call them the welcoming committee. They have yet to bring me a pie or a casserole but I’m waiting patiently,  These are the people you avoid because no matter what goes on here they know about it. They know who you’re fucking even if you haven’t fucked anyone yet and they also know how many people visit your apartment on any given day. When I first moved in I thought that my dick was exposed or something because they were gawking at me the entire time. I have thought about buying assless chaps for my trips to the dumpster and mailbox. What scares me is that they live right on the end so I can’t even sneak into my apartment after a night of drunken sex.

     I’m a hermit by nature and because of my work schedule it’s impossible to know when I’m home. In any apartment complex you have that creepy guy that no one sees and when you do it’s like hitting the lottery. I’m that guy! I come and go at odd hours and I’m expecting one brave neighbor to venture over just to make sure that I’m not storing body parts in my kitchen. I’m expecting my shipment of books on Monday and that should add to the mystery a little. I can already hear the discussion already. “He’s never home and just today he got a box delivered to his door. I bet it’s a bomb.” I’m sure at some point I’ll meet my neighbors but with the book and the job and the new girlfriend the neighbors are the least of my worries.

     There are a lot of kids here and it drives me nuts when they stand outside of my apartment and scream. I have no idea why they feel the need to stop by my window and scream but I want to thank them for acting like assholes. I have a playground next door so I expect them to run around like drunken little midgets but Jesus Christ have some respect. I have zero patience as it is and sure, I have kids and I love them but I hate every other kid I come in contact with. They have no quiet voice at all and as they run around they feel as if the entire neighborhood should be aware of their presence. I don’t want to hear that shit while I’m watching a movie and I don’t run around their apartment acting like an asshole. I am getting older and expect a level of not just respect but privacy so kindly get the fuck off of my lawn jack ass!

     Maybe, just maybe these kids are in cahoots with their mothers. You know the women that are trying to find a baby daddy? Apartment complexes like these are perfect for late night booty calls and any women that sees a single guy gets a little excited and prays to God that this could be the one. You  know the guy that sweeps her off her feet and declares his love for her on the jungle gym. Having sex with a single mom is tricky because they aren’t looking at just today or even a week from now, They want to marry you so you can be their kids baby daddy. These are evil vile women that wear sweat pants and wife beaters to attract a man and once he’s snared game over. You wake up and the kids staring at you and asks; “Are you my new daddy?” If that ever happens just fucking run. Forget the pancakes and just get the fuck out. That bitch is already planning your wedding. You may as well just move in at that point.

     I did start dating again which is probably upsetting to the single women that live here and are looking for a baby daddy. My girlfriend will never be invited over for tea or get to gossip with the gawkers. By coming into my apartment at random times she has probably fueled a great deal of gossip which I find amusing as hell. Let me talk to the dads for a second because you’ll be able to relate to this, When you’re a prime target for gossip and you have the girlfriend over and your ex-wife drops off the kids doesn’t it make you giggle because you know they’re trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. There are strange women going in and out of your apartment so what do you do? If your me you walk with a slight limp. My girl is amazing and it’s made this whole move easier and a lot more fun. It kind of sucks that the neighbors see her coming and going so much yet they have never said hello.

    I guess for awhile these blogs are going to be a lot of fun to write. I have the apartment and the girlfriend and the book. I have a lot of shit to get into so the adventure begins again. If you’ve read this blog in the past you’ll remember that I wrote about all sorts of crazy random  shit. This time it’s a bit different because I have lived on my own but this time it’s all about readjusting and finding a balance that works. The book and the apartment kind of fell together quickly and at the same time so I’m still trying to wrap my head around that. I have reconnected with an amazing woman who is exactly what I’ve been looking for but this time she’s a mystery that not many people are going to read about. The big question is has she read the blogs? Yep she has and she’s amused by them and yes she’s read the book and knows all about me yet she hasn’t run screaming which is awesome.